The tendency to pretend everything is okay, while avoiding unpleasant realities, can be seen in external social relationships and internally as well.  But to train your heart and mind you need to stop pretending. Destructive patterns thrive on being hidden. That is what allows them to maintain their power. But if you are brave enough to arouse these powerful forces, to confront them, and to examine them, you can begin to free yourself from their control. Ironically, in order to develop true peace, you need to be willing to rile things up.

Judy Lief