When we sit in meditation, we practice observing our thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they arise and fall away,  while we rest on the breath or on a wider calm. The key word here is practice. It is not always easy, but we work at paying attention to our mental events, not hooking into them, simply  allowing them and letting them be.  We quickly learn that emotions and their associated thoughts change as frequently as the weather in Ireland. We open the mind up to more possibilities than what can be easily predicted, or our fixed views of persons.  This helps us develop a real understanding of the changing ups and downs of life, leading to the development of  equanimity towards the times when things or people are not as reliable as we thought they were. The word equanimity comes from Latin aequus “even” and animus ”mind, soul”.  Enjoying life and reducing stress is related to a mind which is even,  not having a preference for one thing or another, not  holding on to something good or something bad.

Everything we gain is subject to loss. Although this is as true as the sky is blue, we keep trying to make gain permanent in order to try to bring about happiness for “me.” We think, “If only So-and-So would love me, I would be happy,“ “If only things would change, I would be happy,” “If only things would stay the way they are, I would always be happy,” and it only leads to heartache. This kind of wanting involves a lot of hope and fear, all based on denial of a simple truth: all the pleasure the world can offer eventually turns to pain. Trying to hold onto pleasure only causes more pain.

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, Easy Come Easy Go