When your mind doesn’t stir inside, the world doesn’t arise outside.  Bodhidharma

Pain does not necessarily lead to suffering, though the two are often linked as though they were one: pain-and-suffering. If we learn to distinguish the two, a different possibility opens up, a possibility that is as liberating as it is challenging. This possibility is the freedom of becoming responsible for our mind states, no matter what the situation.  “Responsible for our mind states” – what does this mean?  It means that no one else is responsible for your thoughts and stories, for your reactions to painful stimuli. Pain may come your way, but you do not have to add to this pain the suffering of thoughts and stories about why it happened and what should or should not be happening.

Gordon Peerman, Blessed Relief: What Christians can learn from Buddhists about Suffering