I’m serious…

There is always the risk that people take the inner life with a little bit too much solemnity. Two quotes on this from quite different sources:

Pride is the downward drag of all things into an easy solemnity. One “settles down” into a sort of selfish seriousness.  Seriousness is not a virtue. It would be a heresy, but a much more sensible heresy, to say that seriousness is a vice. It is really a natural trend or lapse into taking one’s self gravely, because it is the easiest thing to do. For solemnity flows out of men naturally; but laughter is a leap. It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light. Satan fell by the force of gravity.

G. K Chesterson

One of the big problems in meditation is that we can take ourselves too seriously. We can see ourselves as religious people dedicated towards serious things, such as realising truth. We feel important; we are not just frivolous or ordinary people, going about our lives, just going shopping in the supermarket and watching television. Of course this seriousness has advantages; it might encourage us to give up foolish activities for more serious ones. But the process can lead to arrogance and conceit: a sense of being someone who has special mission or some goal of helping people, or of being exceptional in some way… This conceit, this arrogance of our human state is a problem that has been going on since Adam and Eve, or since Lucifer was thrown out of heaven. It’s a kind of pride that can make human beings lose all perspective; so we need humour to point to the absurdity of our self-obsession.

Ajahn Sumedho

A Joyful Occasion

We do not have to create joy. It is an innate quality already within us, however hidden or dormant it may be. As innocent babies we all have a natural joy. We all can still squeal with delight given the right circumstances. When we’re not overwhelmed with stress or suffering, this natural state becomes revealed.

James Baraz

Once you have insight, then you find you enjoy and delight in the beauty and goodness of things. Truth, beauty, and goodness delight us; in them we find joy.

Ajahn Sumedho

Not looking to others to save us

If we want liberation, we must rewrite the Sleeping Beauty myth.

No one is coming and no one else is to blame.

Elizabeth Lesser

Noticing the strategies

The basic practice, that underlies all practice,  as Pema Chodron reminds us,  is learning to stay. It flies against our normal instinct which is to rush towards whatever gives us a sense of security, a sense of ground. I had a lovely talk yesterday with a friend who observed that these days even much of the spiritual path is presented like products to be consumed, something which we feel compelled to get in order to deal with the deep unease within us. We can notice this because they tend to pull us outside ourselves and end up actually increasing our sense of dissatisfaction with how we actually are.

We all follow some strategy for getting away from this deep dissatisfaction within us. Sometimes this strategy can seem quite spiritual, but it is still a seeking for some sense of ground, of stability.  This shows that we have a strong fear of not being in control, and do not like not knowing what the future is. However this desire for security is deluded, because the deep truth is that we are never in control. We can never be on hundred percent sure of any thing. That’s how things are and this brings up a lot of panic and fear.

Our practice is to try and relax with this and accept that groundlessness  is actually the human condition. This means that we move to accept the fear and panic that comes with it. rather than running away from it.

Do you know which strategies you use to guarantee some sense of safety and familiarity, to avoid facing the fears—of rejection, loss, unworthiness or failure—that lie beneath the surface of your thoughts and actions?  For example, do you try to maintain a sense of order and control, to avoid feeling the fear of chaos, of things falling apart? Do you try to gain acceptance and approval, to avoid the fear of rejection, of not fitting in? Do you try to excel and attain success, to avoid the fear of feeling unworthy? Or do you seek busyness, to avoid the deep holes of longing and loneliness? All of these strategies have one thing in common: they keep us encased in our artificial or substitute life.

Ezra Bayda

All things come to an end

One of the more frequently quoted phrases coming from different wisdom traditions is “This too will pass” It is a reminder that we can find contentment in whatever circumstance if we glimpse the truth that all things will not last forever. Change is constant, events, people, health and sickness come and go in our lives, difficult situations will end. It allows us create space between ourselves and the situation and focus instead on why the situation has been presented to us and what we can learn from it.

It’s not always easy to stay balanced but it helps me when I look at the things happening in my life as due to many causes coming together. The wisest way I can respond to them is by working with them and  not struggling with them. This does not mean that I should not fight for the things that I can change or refuse to accept it when others treat me badly. However, at times, there are things that I cannot change. “This too will pass” helps me see that all things have an ending. And when I see that endings can lead to new beginnings, I can endure difficulties more easily and let go of good things without resentment.

Just when I think I know where I am going

As I mentioned in yesterdays post, at times our best plans get disrupted and we are faced with uncertainty. Sometimes these changes come from new ideas within ourselves which may be easier to deal with than those which are obliged on us, by the changing minds or circumstances of others. However, at the end of the day, all changes to our plans can be a challenge. If we are very attached to our plans or if the changes affect some aspects of our identity, then the changes can shake us to the core.

Making plans is a necessary part of life. Although meditation can help us identify when we are continually planning as a strategy to deal with our anxiety, normal making of plans is necessary for us to be effective, to move forward in our work  and to look after  those we have a responsibility for. Therefore a certain amount of living in and imagining the future is appropriate and necessary for our lives.

However, if we make a plan too rigid, or become fixed on a certain way that the future has to turn out –  or that others have to be – we can become too attached to a fixed notion of how the Universe should behave.  As I have said before,  this can make it hard to accept the diversions which reality takes from our own agenda. We believe things have to turn out in a certain way for them to be right.  Thus we lose connection with how things actually are. We can even think we are running the show.

Who makes these changes?
I shoot an arrow right.
It lands left.
I ride after a deer and find myself
Chased by a boar.
I plot to get what I want
And end up in prison.
I dig pits to trap others
And fall in.

I should be suspicious
Of what I want.

Rumi