The real challenge that faces us as we go through this day is staying open: open to the mystery of others and of events we cannot fully understand, open to a deeper meaning in our lives, open to seeing our lives from a different vantage point than that of our fears:
Can you hold the door
of your tent
wide to the firmament?
Lao Tzu
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they lead to actions.
Watch your actions, they create habits.
Watch your habits, they build your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Upanishads
I was driving home from lecturing today and saw a hawk, still in the sky, hovering over the field, its eyes fixed on prey somewhere far below. I do not know why but this sight always makes me catch my breath; I always feel that I am before a thing of beauty. And it brought home to me again how animals simply are true to their nature, and follow their essence, without worrying too much about the meaning of it. They are, in some ways, “simple” – in the sense that the medieval writers used to talk about God – in the unity of their being and their actions. They are not divided within.
We, on the other hand, are frequently only too aware of the divisions within ourselves , of ongoing tensions, of a separation from our deepest self. We may spend our lives seeking a greater unity and a simple, undivided self, but on a day-to-day level are most conscious of how much we observe ourselves from outside. We are rarely just one., with ourselves or with our experiences. As I listened to the class today sharing their stories, I realized yet again how difficult it is to achieve the wholeness and simplicity we desire. Everyone forms ways of behaving – or defenses – as they are growing up, to cope with the demands and dangers of experiences that threatened them emotionally – caused maybe by parents’ imperfections or ways that they felt left down. And thus some arrive in adulthood with structures which allow them keep going in safety, but which at the same time can keep them severely limited in their fears and lack of ability to trust. Or others arrive with huge conditions placed on their worth – tied to others’ approval or to the necessity to strive, to achieve success or push themselves in work. They look outside themselves for the solutions to the emotional templates formed within when young.
We find it so hard to simply be ourselves, to believe that this is enough, that it is a safe place to be. We look to always add something to ourselves, or to this moment, to feel secure. And yet, looking at the hawk today, in its stillness, what strikes me most is the absence of something, maybe the absence of striving, the resting in just what it is – the ability to just be still and secure with that. We too need to relax into our own being, to let go of the patterns we have built up to protect ourselves, to trust that who we are, deep down, is enough.
We all have well-established habits of thought, emotion, reaction and judgement, and without the keen awareness of practice, we’re just acting out these patterns. When they arise, we’re not aware they’ve arisen. We get lost in them, identify with them, act on them — so much of our life is just acting out patterns.
Joseph Goldstein
It is not easy to be open to everything that happens in a day, either outside us or within us, still less to see them all as “blessings”. Here Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, reminds us to do so, maybe from the perspective of her work with people in the last moments of their lives, when they have let go of some of the things which assumed great importance during their lives. Her words remind us today that life has a richness to be experienced and is not just to be managed or gotten through. Every aspect of this day can teach us, if we have eyes to see.
Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose.
There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
This quote from the great Lama Gendun Rinpoche, reminds us to hold lightly experiences we have had and not allow our identity be defined by some of the events in our history. The practice of meditation is really one of trying to let go and then trust that life will unfold in a bigger picture – which is often not visible as we go through individual events. We sometimes need to let go of a memory – an idea of how things were or should be – in order to be fully present for what is here and now. We continue walking in the present until the mystery becomes clear.
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don’t strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Why identify with, and become attached to it, passing judgment upon it and ourselves?
When your mind is reeling in confusion, breathe deeply into the centre of your chest.
Connecting to the core of your being this way extends loving kindness to yourself , even when there is none in sight.
Ezra Bayda
