A short presentation by the always entertaining Robert Sapolsky, showing how prolonged exposure to the stress response causes more problems than stress itself:
Tag: Mindfulness
Our sense of self and our early experiences
Our early ex
periences strongly shape our sense of self. They become hard-wired into our unconscious system and then are triggered easily at important moments in adulthood. Because they are so deeply ingrained in our cells they can influence us when we are drawing conclusions about the kind of person we are. Frequently they are concerned with laying down a blueprint as to how reliable or safe the world is, and to what extent others can be trusted. This influences the broad autobiographical narrative which tends to be established by our late teens, colouring our expectations about life and about people. We are balancing our experiences of attachment or closeness with our experiences of unreliability and disappointment. Early disappointment affects our ability to trust or feel safe, or to fully give ourselves in adult relationships. Consequently we often approach a relationship in the hope that it will be the one which will finally heal these early disappointments – hoping to rewrite the relational blueprint which caused us problems as a child – or behave in a way that our negative expectations will be confirmed. Sometimes the repair happens, but often we are looking outside for something which needs inner work to be fully achieved.
We are wired for attachment
in a world of impermanence.
How we negotiate that tension
shapes who we become.
Robert Neimeyer, Ph.D.
A mistaken view of happiness
Genuine happiness does not come from accumulating pleasant feelings.
Joseph Goldstein
Practice letting things go
It is over 20 years since I read this saying from Gurdjieff. It struck me then and still resonates now. We often pin our happiness onto what we have – certain things, relationships, achievements, successes- and hold onto them for dear life. What this quotation reminds us is that happiness is rooted in a contented mind. It is often related to letting go, to holding things lightly, to being peaceful within ourselves – with where we are and what we can do without. It is linked to knowing we are complete in ourselves, not holding on to some things and not needing to be completed by others or by what we have.
A man is satisfied not by the quantity of food, but by the absence of greed.
Finding a quiet space within
As I have written before, finding quiet time each day is not a luxury. Rather, it is essential for protecting our health and strengthening our deepest selves. Looking within nourishes the roots of an enduring happiness, namely, a deep confidence in our sense of self, as opposed to a happiness which looks outside, linking itself to circumstances in our lives, such as our career, finances or even relationships.
I can’t give you any advice but this:
to go into yourself and see how deep the place is from which your life flows.
Rilke
Being grateful for the colour of this day
Some days are just full of moments of joy and unexpected goodness, that when one arrives at the evening one can only be grateful. Occasions where we experience the kindness of friends and the encouragement of those who are there for us. Days like this remind us to surround ourselves with positive, not negative influences. All we can do is look back and take in the colour of the day.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of colour
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
John O’Donoghue, A Blessing for one who is exhausted
