Month: April 2010

Rush

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Sometimes nature gives us little glimpses of perfect joy, complete, with no struggle or strain. These can be a beautiful, silent, sunset or the quiet of a hedgehog crossing the road. Time slows down. We know we do not have to add anything to that moment for our happiness to be full.

It is in contrast to the pace that sometimes accompanies our working day.

I cannot tell if what the world considers ‘happiness’
is happiness or not.
All I know is that when I consider the way they go about attaining it,
I see them carried away headlong, serious and obsessed,
in a general rush,
unable to stop themselves or to change their direction.

And all the while they claim to be
just on the point of attaining happiness….

Chuang-tzu.

To belong

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Consciousness begins when brains acquire the power,
the simple power I must add,
of telling a story.

Antonio Damasio

We construct our personal identity out of the experiences which we have had in our lives. As I have written before, we begin to put these experiences into a narrative from teenage years onward and this narrative guides our behaviour in every moment. It provides a frame for how we see the past and, even more importantly, how we see the future developing. We use this as a means of providing some degree of coherence and purpose to our everyday lives. Part of our story comes from where we feel we belong, our family and place. As I was in the concert the other evening I heard melodies which evoked feelings of home, memories of places and a sense of belonging.

This need to belong is a very strong part of each one of us. It is linked with our sense of identity, of who we are. The music reminded me of the roots of my identity. However, I notice as we grow older, we tend to link that identity much more to relationships and get our sense of belonging there. We still want to find our place, yes, but much more we seek it in the lives of others. We seek to be remembered, to leave a mark. Growing as adults does not cancel that fundamental need. We are always looking for that mirroring or holding which shows that our own deepest self, our full story, is being heard.

Wealth

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Who are the happiest, richest people you know?… These are the people who are living joyful, enthusiastic lives, regardless of their possessions or lack of possessions. These people possess something more precious than material goods. They possess a spark of God that radiates in all they do.

Shoni Labowitz, Miraculous Living

Magic

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A tone of some world
far from us
Where music and moonlight
and feeling are one

Shelley

On Thursday evening I was at a concert of Altan, one of the greatest live acts to play traditional Irish music and currently Ireland’s biggest name in such music. They were incredible in their individual performances and the music they produce together as a group. The energy of the dance music contrasted with the beauty of Mairead Ni Mhaonaigh’s voice as she sang songs of loss and love songs from the North West of Ireland. In the small theatre where they played it made for an unforgettable, magical experience.

I find that when I am listening to great music or standing before a work of art, a quiet inner space opens up, in which a full range of human experiences are felt. On Thursday this was linked to the music which evoked a sense of place, a feeling of home, the ideas of love and loss and belonging. The chatter of the mind ceased, a texture of silence was created, and the awareness of deep creativity deepened, much like what happens during meditation. Time slowed down and an instinctive awareness of what is really important emerged. In times like this, things are reduced to the fundamentals. Your own sense of the world and of yourself are touched, and sometimes changed.

Hidden

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It is a joy to be hidden
but a disaster not to be found.

D.W. Winnicott

Not everything goes to plan 3: Change is a part of life

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Loss is a fact of life. Impermanence is everywhere we look. We lose loved ones. We lose our health. We lose our glasses. We lose our memory. We lose our money. We lose our keys. We lose our socks. We have to come to terms with this reality. How we deal with them is what makes all the difference. For it is not what happens to us that determines our character, but how we relate to what happens.

Lama Surya Das, Working with Loss