Unlikely teachers

Sometimes it is through our fears that we come to see where we need to grow.  In our sitting we get an insight into the ongoing commentary that we conduct in our lives and the hidden fears behind it. We plan, daydream, worry and compare and when we notice this we can see the ways in which we prefer to avoid our life as it actually is.  It is also true that it is often in difficult moments that we learn most. Therefore our fears and our difficult moments are often the places where we can grow most.

But what we find is that fear is a tough energy to work with and our first reaction is often to move away from it. However, it we manage to create a small gap and to simply acknowledge “there is fear”, we reduce its power over us and it can become a place where we can learn. When we try this,  we notice that it is hard to resist the urge to change the situation when fear arises. But what would it be like if we could just accept it and stay with the fear for just a tiny bit longer than we normally would? Maybe the way it affects our life would begin to change. We may start to heal the conditioned pattterns in our brains which the situation has provoked. We could see a change in the stories which used to run our lives.

What is required of us is that we love the difficult and learn to deal with it. In the difficult are the friendly forces, the hands that work on us.  Right in the difficult we must have our joys, our happiness, our dreams: there against the depth of this background, they stand out, there for the  first time we see how beautiful they are.

Selected Letters of Rainer Maria Rilke (1960)


How our fears manifest

Good practice is about fear. Fear takes the form of constantly thinking, speculating, analyzing, fantasizing. With all that activity we create a cloud to keep ourselves safe in make-believe practice. True practice is not safe; it’s anything but safe. But we don’t like that, so we obsess with our feverish efforts to achieve our version of the personal dream. Such obsessive practice is itself just another cloud between ourselves and reality. The only thing that matters is seeing with an impersonal spotlight: seeing things as they really are. When the personal barrier drops away, why do we have to call it anything? We just live our lives.

Charlotte Joko Beck

Mindfulness Meditation and Lower Back Pain

An interesting study was carried out to see how effective mindfulness meditation would be for older adults who suffer with chronic lower back pain.  Among older adults, this is a common problem that can have devastating consequences. Traditional pain therapies have their limitations and side-effects. The study wished to see if mindfulness meditation, as a non-invasive method not requiring any special equipment, could contribute to the treatment of this problem.  There are significant psychological and cognitive fac­tors which contribute to the pain inten­sity and disability associated with this chronic pain. The researchers wished to see if the MBSR Programme could be adhered to by this age group and whether it could help with the perception and tolerance of pain, along with the associated stress.

Participants were 37 community-dwelling older adults aged 65 years and older with chronic lower back pain of moderate intensity occurring daily or almost every day. Participants were randomized to the 8-week mindfulness-based meditation program or to a wait-list control group. After the 8 weeks, the intervention group displayed significant improvement in pain acceptance and physical function. Furthermore, the majority of participants continued to meditate at 3-month follow-up suggesting that they had incorporated meditation into their daily lives and may indicate that they experienced ongoing benefit from mindfulness meditation.

As a result of this study, it is argued that integrative mind-body therapies such as the MBSR program are a promising, non-pharmacologic, addition to current pain treatment for older adults.

Natalia E. Morone, Carol M. Greco, and Debra K. Weiner. Mindfulness meditation for the treatment of chronic low back pain in older adults: A randomized controlled pilot study, Pain. January 2008. Vol. 134. Pp. 310-319.

Developing your Meditation Practice, Stage 1 continued

The first of these posts talked about placement – we consciously place our awareness on the breath, intentionally moving away from whatever activity we were doing before.  At the same time, just as we sit down to practice, we simultaneously form our intention. One Zen teacher once gave a conference speech in which he summed up the whole of meditation in two words – “intention” and “attention”. S o the first stage in meditation involves forming an intention, right at the start,  the moment one sits. Our intention should be something like, I will use this period to consciously observe the mind and get to know it better. In a sense, we set a gentle model for our activity over the next twenty or thirty minutes.

Why is this so important? Because if we rush into sitting without consciously being aware of changing our activity and forming our intention we can find the mind wandering very quickly. After a minute or two we find ourselves in the same daydreaming we were involved in for much of the day or continuing the activity we have just finished. We may very quickly fall into the activity of checking how we are doing in this meditation and comparing it to yesterday’s or to a model of meditation which we have in our heads.

So the first stage in meditation is focused on how we sit. It seems obvious but is of vital importance. If we start well there is a greater chance that our whole sitting will go well. In the next post we will look at stage two, how to work with thoughts.

Letting the past go

Do not go after the past, Nor lose yourself in the future. For the past no longer exists, And the future is not yet here.

By looking deeply at things just as they are, in this moment, here and now, the seeker lives calmly and freely. You should pay attentive to what is really going on today, for waiting until tomorrow is too late.

The one who knows how to live calmly and attentively night and day is the one who knows the best way to be independent.

Bhaddekaratta Sutra

Poppies

The other day I drove past a beautiful field of poppies. At least it seemed so, but when I stopped to look at it,  it became clear that it was actually a field of wheat, with poppies growing up through it. It reminded me of the parable of the weeds among the wheat, in the gospel of St Matthew. In the story the servants notice that someone has planted weeds in among the wheat, weeds that are almost impossible to distinguish from the real crop. The Master’s instruction is to leave them grow together, until the harvest, when they will be easily divided.

Normally this parable is interpreted in a way that refers to the judgment at the end of time. However, it can also be a wisdom that applies to our life now. There are many areas of our life which we would like to change, which we feel do not contribute to our overall growth. We can be unhappy with aspects of our body,  of our job or our relationship – whichever “weed” we think is ruining our field. Our attention is often drawn to that aspect of our life, and it becomes the focus of our happiness or unhappines.

And we often notice that out desire or our instinct is to fix ourselves, rip up these “weeds”,  remove them immediately from our lives. We find ourselves believing that things would be better if this or that was changed. We notice that it is not easy to accept ourselves, that we almost always want to change ourselves.

However, the parable points us in another direction, and gives two insights. The first says let the weeds and the wheat grow together. This goes against our normal instinct which is to turn away from the things that disturb or scare us, and says let us start by tolerating or accepting them.  The second draws our attention to the fact that we are always imposing conditions: it must be this way or that way, or we can’t be happy. These conditions can lead us to look elsewhere for happiness, and not realize that the all we need is already in our lives right now. Even with the weeds.

When we start meditation, we often think that somehow we are going to improve, which is a subtle aggression against who we really are: its a bit like saying “If I jog, I’ll be a much better person”, “If I had a nicer house, I’d be a better person”. “If I could meditate and calm down, I’d be a better person”. Or we find fault with others. We might say “If it weren’t for my husband, I’d have a perfect marriage”…. But loving kindness towards ourselves doesn’t mean getting rid of anything…Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already.

Pema Chodron, Comfortable with Uncertaintly