Month: July 2010

How early fear still influences

Karl Duffy1 Comment

As said in yesterdays post, sometimes events, words or phrases can trigger unconscious patterns which were laid down in childhood. Thus we react to the current event with the fear that was associated with the situation from our past. Our brains, as has been said, are like velcro for negative experiences – they stick and are stored for quick recognition – but are teflon for positive experiences. Thus we have to work to counteract these strong patterns by firstly noticing them. One way is by encouraging positive experiences in order to balance the unconscious instinctive reactions which are stored deep in the cells of our brains.

Early fear was felt cellularly and was indeed real. Defensive postures were necessary, but defenses generalize cellularly in adulthood and do not expire. It takes conscious work to undo them. Ironically, as long as we keep using defenses, we actually maintain the original force of the fear.

David Richo

When we feel that we want to run away

Karl Duffy1 Comment

All relationships demand that we trust the other person. However, due to our personal history, this can sometimes prove a challenge. Our brains are wired to remember the risks that come from encounters with others, such as those in our childhood. Therefore certain words or situations may trigger deep felt unconscious memories and the brain automatically applies an expectation of danger to them. Our stress and anxiety rises, and we feel trapped. Our instinct is to run away. This happens even though our strengths and resources are greatly different now than what they were when we were little.

Thus it can help if we increase our capacity to see these fears as they arise in order not to be influenced by our automatic reactions to them. A way if doing so is outlined here:

Anxiety, dread, worry and even panic are just mental states like any other. Recognize fear when it arises, observe the feeling of it in your body – watch it try and convince you that you should be alarmed – see it change and move on. Verbally describe to yourself what you are feeling, to increase frontal lobe regulation of the limbic system. Notice how the awareness which contains fear is itself never fearful.  Keep separating from the fear; settle back into  the vast space of awareness through which fear passes like a cloud.

Rick Hanson, Buddha’s Brain

Using time wisely

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

For those of us who live in nanosecond time, a moment becomes very, very short, and in each moment we ask how much we have gotten done. How much did I cram into it? Was I successful in multitasking? As one woman in a class I was working with said to me, “I have finally figured out how to relax. When I go from my job teaching to my consulting job and I’m driving in my car, I listen to a self-help tape, I eat lunch on the way, I talk on my cellular phone, and I relax at the same time.”

This approach to time management simply turns up the speed on the treadmill of our lives. I propose we evolve beyond time management to “timeshifting”-which is different from merely “downshifting.” The practice of timeshifting recognizes that every single moment has a particular rhythm to it, and that we have the capacity to expand or contract an individual moment as appropriate. One way to shift what’s going on in our world is not to try to rush to do more, but to allow ourselves to go deeper into that moment of being present. Our ability to shift gears, to shift our rhythm to meet that moment and be present in it, is what allows us to experience the fullness of life – to create our life in the way we want it to be.

Stephan Rechtschaffen.

Oh no, rain….

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

It’s like lying in bed before dawn and hearing rain on the roof……..

This simple sound can be disappointing because we were planning a picnic. It can be pleasing because our garden is so dry. But the flexible mind  doesn’t draw conclusions of good or bad. It perceives the sound without adding anything extra, without judgments of happy or sad.

Pema Chodron, Comfortable with Uncertainty

How to make the most out of life

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

There is an old story of a famous rabbi living in Europe who was visited one day by a man who had traveled by ship from New York to see him. The man came to the great rabbi’s dwelling, a large house on a street in a European city, and was directed to the rabbi’s room, which was in the attic. He entered to find the master living in a room with a bed, a chair, and a few books. The man had expected much more. After greetings, he asked, “Rabbi, where are your things?” The rabbi asked in return, “Well, where are yours?” His visitor replied, “But, Rabbi, I’m only passing through,” and the master answered, “So am I, So am I.”

This is not a lesson to be put off. One great teacher explained it this way: “The trouble with you is that you think you have time.” We don’t know how much time we have. What would it be like to live with the knowledge that this may be our last year, our last week, our last day? In light of this question, we can choose a path with heart.

Jack Kornfield,  Path With Heart

Trusting in goodness

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

In order to communicate very openly with the world, you need to develop fundamental trust. This kind of trust is not trusting“in”something, but simply trusting. It is very much like your breath. You do not consciously hold on to your breath, or trust in your breath, yet breathing is your very nature. In the same way, to be trusting is your very nature. To be trusting means you are fundamentally free from doubt about your goodness and about the goodness of others.

Dr. Jeremy Hayward