The basic practice, that underlies all practice,  as Pema Chodron reminds us,  is learning to stay. It flies against our normal instinct which is to rush towards whatever gives us a sense of security, a sense of ground. I had a lovely talk yesterday with a friend who observed that these days even much of the spiritual path is presented like products to be consumed, something which we feel compelled to get in order to deal with the deep unease within us. We can notice this because they tend to pull us outside ourselves and end up actually increasing our sense of dissatisfaction with how we actually are.

We all follow some strategy for getting away from this deep dissatisfaction within us. Sometimes this strategy can seem quite spiritual, but it is still a seeking for some sense of ground, of stability.  This shows that we have a strong fear of not being in control, and do not like not knowing what the future is. However this desire for security is deluded, because the deep truth is that we are never in control. We can never be on hundred percent sure of any thing. That’s how things are and this brings up a lot of panic and fear.

Our practice is to try and relax with this and accept that groundlessness  is actually the human condition. This means that we move to accept the fear and panic that comes with it. rather than running away from it.

Do you know which strategies you use to guarantee some sense of safety and familiarity, to avoid facing the fears—of rejection, loss, unworthiness or failure—that lie beneath the surface of your thoughts and actions?  For example, do you try to maintain a sense of order and control, to avoid feeling the fear of chaos, of things falling apart? Do you try to gain acceptance and approval, to avoid the fear of rejection, of not fitting in? Do you try to excel and attain success, to avoid the fear of feeling unworthy? Or do you seek busyness, to avoid the deep holes of longing and loneliness? All of these strategies have one thing in common: they keep us encased in our artificial or substitute life.

Ezra Bayda