Month: August 2010

Stress and the Summer Holidays

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It would be nice to think that everyone would find themselves less stressed as a result of their Summer Holidays. However, a recent study, conducted by the UK’s Institute of Leadership and Management (ILM), found that 40% of managers reported coming back from their holidays as stressed or more stressed than they were beforehand.

Part of this seems to stem from the increased connectivity which marks the modern age. The rise in use of Blackberries and iPhones, and the updating of social network sites such as Facebook, means that many people keep in touch with aspects of their working life, even when on holidays. For example, 80% of respondents in the study stated that they checked and responded to emails, while 66% said that they checked their smartphones at least once a day. Even those who did not check their mails found that they were unable to completely escape: Over 90% of managers reported being worried at some stage during the holidays  about returning to hundreds of e-mails, while 10% said that it took up to a week before they finally managed to unwind.

As Penny de Valk, from the ILM, states: Gone are the days when people cut off contact  for a fortnight over the summer and made a complete break. While technology means that it is easier than ever to work remotely, it also makes it extremely hard to switch off. Uncertain economic times also mean that many UK employees are keeping one eye on their job at all times, when what they really need is time away from the office to rest and re-energise.

Not everything goes to plan 1: Wait

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It is the height of arrogance to prescribe a moral code or health regime or spiritual practice as an amulet to keep things from falling apart. Things do fall apart. It is in their nature to do so. When we try to protect ourselves from the inevitability of change, we are not listening to the soul. We are listening to our fear of life and death, our lack of faith, our smaller ego’s will to prevail. To listen to your soul is to stop fighting with life–to stop fighting when things fall apart; when they don’t go our away, when we get sick, when we are betrayed or mistreated or misunderstood. To listen to the soul is to slow down, to feel deeply, to see ourselves clearly, to surrender to discomfort and uncertainty and to wait.

Elisabeth Lesser

The seasons of the heart

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Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep in your heart the miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Kahil Gibran The Prophet

Not looking to others to save us

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If we want liberation, we must rewrite the Sleeping Beauty myth.

No one is coming and no one else is to blame.

Elizabeth Lesser

Noticing the strategies

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The basic practice, that underlies all practice,  as Pema Chodron reminds us,  is learning to stay. It flies against our normal instinct which is to rush towards whatever gives us a sense of security, a sense of ground. I had a lovely talk yesterday with a friend who observed that these days even much of the spiritual path is presented like products to be consumed, something which we feel compelled to get in order to deal with the deep unease within us. We can notice this because they tend to pull us outside ourselves and end up actually increasing our sense of dissatisfaction with how we actually are.

We all follow some strategy for getting away from this deep dissatisfaction within us. Sometimes this strategy can seem quite spiritual, but it is still a seeking for some sense of ground, of stability.  This shows that we have a strong fear of not being in control, and do not like not knowing what the future is. However this desire for security is deluded, because the deep truth is that we are never in control. We can never be on hundred percent sure of any thing. That’s how things are and this brings up a lot of panic and fear.

Our practice is to try and relax with this and accept that groundlessness  is actually the human condition. This means that we move to accept the fear and panic that comes with it. rather than running away from it.

Do you know which strategies you use to guarantee some sense of safety and familiarity, to avoid facing the fears—of rejection, loss, unworthiness or failure—that lie beneath the surface of your thoughts and actions?  For example, do you try to maintain a sense of order and control, to avoid feeling the fear of chaos, of things falling apart? Do you try to gain acceptance and approval, to avoid the fear of rejection, of not fitting in? Do you try to excel and attain success, to avoid the fear of feeling unworthy? Or do you seek busyness, to avoid the deep holes of longing and loneliness? All of these strategies have one thing in common: they keep us encased in our artificial or substitute life.

Ezra Bayda

Where is God?

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God changes appearances every second.

Blessed is the man who can recognize him in all his disguises. One moment he is a glass of fresh water; the next, your son bouncing on your knees, or an enchanting woman, or perhaps merely a morning walk.

Nikos Kazantzakis