October 2010 – Page 8 – Mindfulbalance

When I am anxious or hurt I tend to instinctively react. I often move fast to blame and then make decisions which help me feel back in control. However, decisions made from fear are never our best decisions; fear is not our best friend. We risk throwing the baby out with the bathwater. A walk in nature shows us a different perspective, a gentler way to change. We learn to not act on the fear but to sit with it. We get some distance from the story that is making us feel defective and fearful.

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.

Lao Tzu

How to work with difficult emotions 2

October 10, 2010October 10, 2011 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

When we wake up to how human life on this planet actually is, and stop running away or building walls in our heart, then we develop a wiser motivation for our life. And we keep waking up as the natural dukkha [suffering] touches us. This means that we sharpen our attention to catch our instinctive reactions of blaming ourselves, blaming our parents, or blaming society; we meditate and access our suffering at its root; and consequently we learn to open and be still in our heart. And even on a small scale in daily life situations, such as when we feel bored or ill at ease, instead of trying to avoid these feelings by staying busy or buying another fancy gadget, we learn to look more clearly at our impulses, attitudes, and defenses. In this way dukkha guides and deepens our motivation to the point where we’ll say, “Enough running, enough walls, I’ll grow through handling my blocks and lost places.”

Ajahn Sucitto, Turning the Wheel of Truth

Sunday Quote: On change

October 10, 2010October 9, 2010 Karl Duffy1 Comment

Everything is in process. Everything—every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimate—is always changing, moment to moment.

Pema Chodron

Let go…move on…have no preferences

October 9, 2010October 12, 2010 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

This week some things occured which were unexpected and which disrupted some directions which have seemed right for some time. However, they were out of my capacity to influence. In cases like this I have found that the practice of “no preferences” really helps. Even though I can feel that there is a much easier way to do things, I try to work with having no preferences as to how things have turned out. This has given a perspective with regard to some news I received which I feel was unfair. In mindfulness, we try to see that difficultes and happiness are of of equal value. I find this very hard but I try to work with what is.

It strikes me how much can change in a week. Last Saturday I was at an inspiring conference in Lerab Ling, bringing together some of the finest researchers on meditation in the world. I listened to a incredible talk on meditation by Sogyal Rinpoche as well as a moving reports on mindfulness by Jon Kabat Zinn and a beautiful talk on emotions by Erika Rosenberg. At the end of the day I felt that there was very little distance between experience and reflection: it just was and I felt whole.

This week I was made more aware of our capacity as humans to create distance between ourselves and our experience. We make life complicated by our continual reflecting on it and an excessive evaluation of it. We are never content to let things just be. I find myself wishing for the simpler times of last week. But it is not to be. So I try to make my practice to accept, let go and move on. Mindfulness is based on the belief that deep down things are naturally one and good. And even though others or circumstances make them complicated, I find that I can drop into that natural calm in meditation. However, moving on is still hard. Happiness is related to peace of mind. In difficult times I work with that sense of peace and natural goodness. Therefore, on one level nothing can disturb me. However, on another level I struggle.

Pleasant conditions change into unpleasant ones, and unpleasant conditions eventually become pleasant. We should just keep this awareness of impermanence and be at peace with the way things are, not demanding that they be otherwise. The people we live with, the places we live in, the society we are a part of – we should just be at peace with everything. But most of all we should be at peace with ourselves-that is the big lesson to learn in life. It is really hard to be at peace with oneself. I find that most people have a lot of self-aversion. It is much better to be at peace with our own bodies and minds than anything else, and not demand that they be perfect, that we be perfect, or that everything be good. We can be at peace with the good and the bad.

Ajahn Sumedho

Walking through this world

October 9, 2010October 9, 2010 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

A final post this week with connection to Saint Francis of Assisi, this time a poem about an imagined walk through the world. We walk quickly, to get to our destination. We keep our eyes on ourselves and our own concerns. Our fears keep us turned in on ourselves, comparing our life to what we think it should be. What if we walked slowly this weekend, noticing, paying attention.…..

I think God might be a little prejudiced.
For once He asked me to join Him on a walk through this world,
and we gazed into every heart on this earth,
and I noticed He lingered a bit longer
before any face that was weeping,
and before any eyes that were laughing.
And sometimes when we passed a soul in worship
God too would kneel down.
I have come to learn: God adores His creation.