At any moment we can say that we are on our way somewhere. We are between what has happened ( which is now a memory, but may be quite active in our emotions and fears) and what could happen (which is at this moment just a thought). We are in the present, which is really the only time there  is. This may lead us to feel unfulfilled.  However, when we look at in creatively, it can help us respond to life in new ways.

For example, it can change our attitude towards the future. If we are anchored in the present,  we do not lean into the future. We can break it down into steps, thus ensuring that it does not overwhelm and frighten us. We do not have to live the whole of the future. Just this moment. Then the next moment.  It can also change our attitude towards ourself. If we can bring a gentle non-judgment to ourselves and to our life, we can soften in the moment, and resist the natural tendency to become rigid, especially if we are going through a difficult period. This helps us go against a primitive defense mechanism, which Melanie Klein referred to when she said that one  way of dealing with anxious thoughts is simply to avoid them and remove them from awareness, thereby prolonging the problem. Thus. awareness of the present help us work with the past also, by allowing us see repeating unhelpful patterns of thinking, and their accompanying instinctive feelings. It allows us move beyond the categories of  right or wrong, by focusing on just being with what is going on inside ourselves at this moment. Gently. Without adding the extra burden of bad self or bad other.

This is not so easy, because if we notice strong emotion in the moment it normally means that we are already caught or hooked by it. However, contrary to our normal instinct, it is by learning to become more open to others and to what is happening that we grow stronger. It has been said that the whole of the inner life begins with generosity in the heart, because that is about creating space. Space for this actual moment. It softens us rather than freezing us into what Srikumar Rao calls the “if – then” model. “If only this moment was different then I would be happy….If only such or such happens then I will be happy”

Being present in the present moment is a skill, that we try to cultivate in our practice. I find that life continually gives me occasions for practicing this skill and a lot of time I fail. However, when I do, I find I do not add to life’s difficulty by struggling with it, or by resenting it, or by resisting it. I find my mind relaxes when I remember to be generous and non-judgmental, firstly towards myself and then towards others and the world.

In-between is where humans always are,
thats what we have to welcome,
a story with an uncertain ending.

And this condition is interesting if you inhabit it;
it’s alive.

If I’m facing something that I don’t know what to do,
the “not knowing” is what is true,
and the resources that I have,
deeply ignorant that I am,
will have to be enough.

John Tarrant