We prepare to die by pushing ourselves to love less narrowly.
In that sense, readying ourselves for death
is really an ever-widening entry into life.
Ron Rolheiser.
Month: October 2011
Letting neutral times be neutral
Autumn sees Nature winding down and moving towards a fallow period, a period of rest, a time when seeds lie buried deep in the earth, and growth happens in a different way. This helps us to see that times when things are not exciting or noticeable – neither markedly pleasant or unpleasant – are an integral part of life. There are significant parts of each day when our experience is not strongly flavoured in one way or another. We have periods when little happens, when we rest or stand still. This is normal, and it doesn’t mean that our lives have lost their focus. If we have a tendency to interpret these periods as if something is wrong,we can generate significant suffering as we are going against a fundamental aspect of human nature itself. As always, the practice is simply to be aware of the feelings as neutral, to not run a storyline around them, and to rest in them, letting them become calm and peaceful.
If we do not cultivate mindfulness, and we feel a neutral feeling, it can turn into an unpleasant feeling because of its association with boredom. We will feel that nothing special is happening – nothing specially good, nothing specially bad, and from that we will often generate painful stories about being a boring person, having a boring life, the world being boring and actually end up in a painful place. Sometimes it seems that we prefer to have painful feelings because they are somewhat exciting and we seem to feel more alive in them than with neutral feelings that we equate with non-existence.
Martine Batchelor, The Spirit of the Buddha
A Brand New Day
The Navajo teach their children that every morning when the sun comes up, it’s a brand new sun. It’s born each morning, it lives for the duration of one day and in the evening it passes on, never to return again. As soon as the children are old enough to understand, the adults take them out at dawn and they say “The sun has only one day. You must live this day in a good way, so that the sun won’t have wasted precious time” Acknowledging the preciousness of each day is a good way to live, a good way to reconnect with our basic joy.
Pema Chodron, The Wisdom of no Escape.
On not criticizing oneself
As I have said before, I often find in Ajahn Sumedho’s writings a clarity which cannot be matched. It is the case here. Simply stated, it gets to the heart of the dynamic which causes us so many problems – our tendency to add on to and identify with what passes through the mind and make it into a criticism of ourselves. I recognize these phrases he uses here as ones I use myself and which I frequently hear in talking with people.
You can’t get more simple than mindfulness because it is not anything you can create. It is just a matter of paying attention and being present, it’s not a complicated technique or a complexity. It’s so simple, but we are conditioned for complexity, so we tend to make things complex all the time. You are sitting and observing and then a negative thought arises in your mind and you think “That’s bad”. ‘That’s a compounding. The act of judging it, of putting the label “bad” onto it, makes it more than what it is.
Mindfulness is just aware of presences and absences. It is not concerned whether they are good or bad. It is not looking at them from that critical position. So “bad” is a criticism, or “that’s good”, “that’s right” and “that’s wrong”. And then it goes into “I’m good”, “I’m bad”, “I shouldn’t feel like this” , “I shouldn’t have these thoughts or desires”, ” I should be more compassionate and patient”. So you see it gets increasingly more complicated with judgments, criticisms and a sense of self that is identified with these different conditions. It gets even more complicated. If you have a bad thought you think “I am bad, I am a bad person, I am not very good…[then] These thoughts arise because people are inconsiderate and don’t respect me. And because of their lack of sensitivity and understanding, I have these bad thoughts”, so it gets increasingly more complicated.
Ajahn Sumedho, The Sound of Silence
Sunday Quote: Letting things pass
Spring comes with ten thousand flowers,
Autumn with the moon,
Summer with the cool breeze,
Winter with snow.
When your mind is not filled with unnecessary concerns,
that’s your best season.
Wu-Men, Chinese Chan Master, 1183–1260
Forgetting and remembering
One of the most difficult things to remember is to remember to remember. Awareness begins with remembering what we tend to forget. Drifting through life on a cushioned surge of impulses is just one of many strategies of forgetting. Not only do we forget to remember, we forget that we live in a body with senses and feelings and thoughts and emotions and ideas. Worrying about what a friend said can preoccupy us so completely that it isolates us from the rest of our experience. The world of colours and shapes, sounds, smells, tastes and sensations becomes dull and remote…… To stop and pay attention to what is happening in the moment is one way of snapping out of such fixations. It is also a reasonable definition of meditation.
Stephen Batchelor, Buddhism without Beliefs.
Mindfulbalance 