Becoming the person you have always been

With twenty-one words, carefully chosen and artfully woven,  May Sarton evokes the quest for vocation – at least, my quest for vocation – with candor and precision:

Now I become myself. It’s taken time, many years and places.
I have been dissolved and shaken, Worn other people’s faces.

What a long time it can take to become the person one has always been! How often in the process we mask ourselves in faces that are not our own. How much dissolving and shaking of ego we must endure before we discover our deep identity – the true self within every human being that is the seed of authentic vocation.It is a strange gift, this birthright gift of self. Accepting it turns out to be even more demanding than attempting to become someone else!

Parker Palmer, Let your Life Speak

Finding the life you ought to be living

This is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe to anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing is happening there. But if you have a sacred place, and use it, and take advantage of it, something eventually will happen….

Most of our action is economically or socially determined and does not come out of our life… the claims of the environment upon you are so great, that you hardly know where the hell you are! What is it you intended? You’re always doing things that are required of you; this minute, that minute, another minute! Where is your “bliss station”?” Try to find it! Put on the music that you really love… or the book you want to read. Get it done! And have a place in which to do it! There you’ll get the “thou” feeling of life. If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a track that has been there all the while, waiting for you. And the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.

Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth; Sacrifice and Bliss.

Following our heart or security

A multitude of forces in this world certainly conspires to divide us against ourselves, our power and authenticity, our voices, even our ability to simply listen to ourselves and believe what we hear…”Nature places a simple constraint on those who leave the flock and go their own way” say David Bayles and Ted Orland in Art and Fear. “They get eaten! In society it is a bit more complicated, but the admonition stands: Avoiding the unknown has considerable survival value. Society and nature…tend to produce guarded creatures” The upshot is that we often end up trading our authenticity for what we perceive as survival, terrified to swap security for our heart’s deep desires, which is the imperative of all callings and one of the dominant fears in responding to them. Saying yes to the calls tends to place you on a path that half of yourself thinks does not make a bit of sense, but the other half knows your life won’t make sense without.

George Michael Leroy, Calling: Finding and Following an Authentic Life

Welcome to being you

You will have many ideas about what meditation is supposed to be and your experience in meditation will not match your ideas. You will believe that the important point is to get your experience to match your ideas of what your experience should be like. When you are unable to do this you will say that meditation is difficult. You will be ready to give up. But when you can just sit, having the experience you are having, whatever it is, without comparing it to what it should be, you will have true ease. No longer busy with chasing after some imagined perfection, you rest in the moment. You “own” your body and your mind….This is called “No more worry about not being perfect”. Welcome to being you.

Edward Espe Brown, Zazen: The Practice of Freedom

Drawing from the wells within

Ultimate meaning must be found within: A man must relate to the outer world from the strength of inner wholeness, not search outside for a meaning that he finds, at last, only in the solitary pathways of his own soul.    
Robert Johnson, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love

When we encounter difficulties we can doubt ourselves and that frequently leads us to compare ourselves unfavourably with others, who appear to have their lives together while we seem to continually fall apart in big or little ways. We can find ourselves noticing who is smarter, more successful or richer; or even who has flatter abs or a better car. Or we compare ourselves to a better version of ourselves, one who is more disciplined, who does not procrastinate, who should be a better parent or partner or friend. This can be quite subtle and unconscious, but it leads to a dissatisfaction with how our moment or our life is, and thus causes suffering. It does not allow us attend to life as it is, or accept ourselves as we actually are.

It also distracts us from where we should look to find our confidence, namely inside ourselves. There, within, is our best resource and our point of reference. Our outer world and all our activity is nourished by our inner vision and this anchors us whenever we find ourselves in rough waters. Few have expressed this better than Rilke in this passage. Even though he is  referring here to the poetic process, the same deep sources are what we nourish in our practice and they are what gives balance and energy to our lives.

You ask whether your verses are any good. You ask me. You have asked others before this. You send them to magazines. You compare them with other poems, and you are upset when certain editors reject your work. Now (since you have said you want my advice) I beg you to stop doing that sort of thing. You are looking outside, and that is what you should most avoid right now. No one can advise or help you – no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must”, then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse.

Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Sunday Quote: What gives us life

 

 

Stay close to any sounds

that make you glad

you are alive.

Hafiz