The most important form of distortion fundamental to the way our minds operate has to do with creating the notion of self out of what is essentially an impersonal process. Selfhood is the expression of a particular kind of distortion of view, a situation that develops gradually from basic misperceptions, to the casting of whole sets of misinformed thoughts, and eventually to a deeply rooted belief system that becomes imposed upon all further perception and thought. Here again we see a cyclical pattern. Perceptions give rise to thoughts, which congeal into beliefs, and which then influence perception. When the system operates optimally, it allows for growth, learning, and transformation. But when it is fundamentally misinformed, it can also give rise to a considerable amount of delusion. Trouble arises when the constructed self becomes the main organizing principle, when it is unrealistically invested with qualities it does not innately possess, and, most importantly, when it becomes the node around which maladaptive behaviors coalesce. The self comes to be experienced as a central and dominant element of psychic life, mistaking what is a series of contingent patterns in constant flux for an enduring entity.
Andrew Olendzki, The Roots of Mindfulness
The source of forgiveness lies in the realization that we are not solely products of what was done to us, the realization that there is something essential within us that is not necessarily tarnished by calamitous experience…. There is a [… ] capacity for joy or love that is not dependent on external circumstances, not compromised by trauma or mistreatment, and capable of surviving destruction. 
As the holidays season approaches we may be finding time to wind down, rest, and simply be, without the constant demands to do and to achieve. Our restless, always-switched-on society does not encourage the development of time spent strengthening our capacity to be with ourselves. As a result we see the sad effects isolation and alienation, as well as the difficulties that occur in a world that tends to define people in relation to they appear to others. When we practice meditation we are showing a profound act of gentleness towards ourselves, because we allow ourselves to simply be, without any need to achieve or do, or any link to appearing special. It can be one means of transforming our deep aloneness into a kind solitude rather than into the fearful, judgemental, loneliness which many feel:
Just this one little thing, the breath, delivers all the wisdom in the world. Each inhalation powers your strength, endurance, and concentration; each exhalation releases your resistance and fears. When we bring our agitated minds into focus by following the movement of the breath in and out of the body, we experience the reality of the present moment, clear from confusion and anxiety. The breath is fearlessness personified. That can matter a great deal to you in times of pain and panic. Focusing on the breath is the safest, surest way to overcome fear and let the immediacy of any experience move forward.
The spiritual path does not just consist of things that massage the ego or make the ego feel good and comfortable. The ego has to be continuously and repeatedly challenged in order for us to grow spiritually. One of the first things that the ego has to learn is that nothing in this world is stable or absolutely true. In order to deal with [this] effectively, we must cultivate five qualities in our meditation: courage, awareness, joy, love and compassion. Cultivating courage means that we have to have the willingness to allow ourselves to be in a depressed state; If depression is the state that we find ourselves in, we should not become alarmed and regard it as a sign of something terrible. This sort of courage is based on a fundamental conviction that we are capable of dealing with whatever it is that arises, rather than thinking that somehow or other what arises is going to have an adverse effect on us. When we start to think that our experience is going to affect us adversely, then fear, anxiety and all of those things come up. But when we are able to say, “Whatever arises is O.K.,” we do not have to be so self-protective. By allowing the depressive mood to be there — if that is what comes up — we are showing courage. If we have that kind of courage we are not harmed. More damage is done by hiding behind our illusions and delusions; when we do that, the conflicting emotions become insidious.
Mindfulbalance 