Are we using a language in our mind, which is tentative, soft and open or are we using a language which is harsh, strict and compulsive? We will feel differently if in our mind we are saying repeatedly, ‘I must, they must, it has to be, it cannot happen, they should, he never, she always’. The more we use this kind of language internally, the more we will feel tension and rigidity, especially if things do not go according to plan. If instead we were to use more tentative language like ‘I could, he possibly, it might, they sometimes’ we then would encounter reality and circumstances with a more open and creative attitude. We would be open to things going one way, but also happening in a different manner as well. Experience the difference you feel if you think ‘I must go to see this concert’ to ‘I could go to this concert’. With the first version you will fight and strain so that it must happen at all costs. With the second one you are open to it and will rejoice if it happens but if it does not, it will be fine. We can be so stressed by minor things but if we could bring less grasping to our thinking process, we would better evaluate what is essential and not so essential.

Martine Bachelor