February 2014 – Page 6 – Mindfulbalance

Winds and rain, hot and cold

February 13, 2014February 13, 2014 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

Yesterday saw huge winds hit Ireland and England, causing power cuts and fallen trees, and a lot of disruption to travel. This winter has seen a series of storm systems pass over, some more violent than others, each one disrupting routines and delusions of stability. In a similar way, despite our best efforts to stay constant, our moods can go up and down – sometimes as frequently as the weather – and certainly emotions can appear unexpectedly over which we have little control. We have successes that we work for and yet also have things happen that we did not see coming and cannot understand. Life brings its own troubles and there is no need to go looking for them. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche once repeated an old teaching which said that there is no cure for hot and cold. He meant that in our lives we can have periods of good things and bad, things go well but we have self-doubt, we are confident but find ourselves anxious. And in our minds we have a succession of thoughts and emotions, good intentions and petty thoughts, kindness followed by self-seeking aspirations. He reminded us that this is the human condition and also the normal nature of the human mind. As Pema Chodron says in her commentary on this phrase, There is no cure for the facts of life. If we do not struggle with this fact, relaxing into life as it is, we not only can stop the complaining that goes on in our mind, but also be pleasantly surprised by what each new day blows into our lives.

The way to dissolve our resistance to life is to meet it face to face. When we feel resentment because the room is too hot, we could meet the heat and feel its fieriness and its heaviness. When we feel resentment because the room is too cold, we could meet the cold and feel its iciness and its bite. When we want to complain about the rain, we could feel its wetness instead. When we worry because the wind is shaking our windows, we could meet the wind and hear its sound. Cutting our expectations for a cure is a gift we can give ourselves. There is no cure for hot and cold. They will go on forever.

Pema Chodron

Delusion

February 13, 2014February 12, 2014 Karl Duffy2 Comments

What creates the sense of suffering for me…is the feeling that my mind cannot relax and accommodate the truth of my experience unless it is what I wanted. Perhaps the most painful habit I have is that of delusion, of imagining that somehow I am in charge of how everything turns out. My wishes and my actions have something to do with what happens to me. Ultimately, however I am not in charge. I keep learning this lesson over and over again, both by paying attention in meditation and by paying attention in my life, but when my mind is startled or overwhelmed by stress, I forget

Sylvia Boorstein, in A Year of Living Mindfully

photo ashokajegroo

Growth is not always easy

February 12, 2014February 10, 2014 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

A thought prompted by this photo which Rosario sent me, of snowdrops growing out of the stump of a tree cut down. Sometimes growth happens more in times of difficulty, or unexpected learning happens when things seem darkest.

It’s difficult when you are in the middle of a painful transition to mine the experience for inner growth. And when your life falls apart, it’s a lot easier to blame someone, or to rail against fate, or to shut down to the hopeful message carried by the winds of change. Sometimes when friends try to help by saying “There’s a reason for everything” or “It’s a blessing in disguise”, you just want to run away or you want to say” Yeah, if it’s such a blessing, then why does it hurt so much?” So forgive me when I say that everything in life is a blessing – whether it comes as a gift wrapped in happy times or as a heartbreak, a loss, or a tragedy…. It helps me to remember that everyone is confused when the friendly forces come knocking; there is no one alive who did not want to go back asleep instead of making a big change; and the journey from Once-Born innocence to Twice-Born wisdom is never easy.

Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open

photo Rosario Power

Working with our fears

February 12, 2014February 9, 2014 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

In meditation and in mindfulness practice, we are learning to replace fear with trust, not as an ideal or abstraction, but as a sense of self-confidence that arises from coming to know fear well. Many people have a fear of fear, a tremendous aversion to it, and don’t allow themselves to enter into it fully. If we simply allow ourselves to fully experience our fear, eventually we learn that we can do so without being overwhelmed by it. Trust develops, not from willing ourselves to trust, but from discovering for ourselves that we can be present for our experience and not overwhelmed by it

Gil Fronsdal, Fearlessness can Coexist with Fear

Stormy weather

February 11, 2014February 11, 2014 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

File:Windy Trees - geograph.org.uk - 323532.jpg

Another windy storm system crossed Ireland overnight. Although this one was not so bad, another is on its way. These winds have caused a lot of damage this winter, unsettling coastal areas and reminding us of the power in nature. In a similar way in our inner lives, we can get blown about, stirred and knocked off-center, or shaken up so that we live life more consciously.

There is a thing in me that dreamed of trees,
A quiet house, some green and modest acres
A little way from every troubling town,
A little way from factories, schools, laments.
I would have time, I thought, and time to spare,
With only streams and birds for company,
To build out of my life a few wild stanzas.
And then it came to me, that so was death,
A little way away from everywhere.

There is a thing in me still dreams of trees.
But let it go. Homesick for moderation,
Half the world’s artists shrink or fall away.
If any find solution, let him tell it.
Meanwhile I bend my heart toward lamentation
Where, as the times implore our true involvement,
The blades of every crisis point the way.

I would it were not so, but so it is.
Who ever made music on a mild day?

Mary Oliver

photo martin smith

A force for settling

February 11, 2014February 8, 2014 Karl Duffy7 Comments

It’s really important to be careful and attentive to how much one gets swept up into the busyness. Those are two different things — actually doing something and the frantic, busy, scattered energy that you bring to the task. Try to watch and reflect on the feeling behind what you’re doing. What is the energy behind it? Recognize where the feeling of agitation comes from. So much depends upon staying with the breathing — breathing into the activity of what we’re doing. Sometimes it helps to step back and slow down, because often less gets accomplished the more frantic you become, in terms of actual physical accomplishment, as well as in your sense of enjoyment and harmony with others. Often it’s more the attitude that we carry that’s problematic because you can only do one thing at a time, anyway. We carry around in our minds all the things we think we have to do and that stirs up this frantic energy. So just breathe into what we are doing, be with it, not getting too swept up. Make the breath a force for settling.

Ajahn Pasanno, Breathe into busy activity