We seem to presume that others have their lives together and that this would be good for us also, that we will finally, one day, arrive…

The first day of autumn
returning from alms round
I set down my bowl by the temple
to go play with the children.
Last year, a foolish monk.
This year, no change.

Ryokan, 1758–1831, Zen Buddhist monk

We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen. 

Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for difficult Times