When we emphasise our personality we create problems, because the personal qualities are different for each one of us. We have our common human problems: old age, sickness and death; but there are attitudes, cultural expectations and assumptions wherein we differ, and these are conditioned into the mind after we are born. Because of this, I often say to people, ‘Whatever you think you are, that’s not what you are.’ The personality, the self-consciousness, the fears and the desires of the mind are what they are. In practice, we are not trying to dismiss them or add to them, or make any problems or difficulties around them. We are willing to let them be what they are. They feel this way, they have this quality; they arise and cease. And in that cessation, there’s the realisation of the peace, the bliss and the serenity of just being — and there’s no self in it.
Ajahn Sumedho, True but not right, right but not true
Unless you were raised by wolves, you probably heard at least a few of the following as you were growing up: “Don’t do that…. Why don’t you ever listen?… Wipe that look off your face…. You shouldn’t feel that way…. You should have known better…. You should be ashamed of yourself…. I can’t believe you did that…. It serves you right…. What were you thinking of?… The nurses must have dropped you on your head…. I had great hopes for you…. Don’t talk back to me…. Do as you are told…. Don’t you ever think about anyone else?” Somewhere along the line we conclude there is something wrong with us. What else could we conclude? If there were nothing wrong with us, people would not say those things, would they? 
Then you shall take some of the blood, and put it on the door posts and the lintels of the houses . . .and when I see the blood, I shall pass over you, and no plague shall fall upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt. Exodus 12: 7 & 13
Mindfulbalance 