Category: Make the most of life

Cultivate a relationship to the unknown

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A sense of Mystery can take us beyond disappointment and judgment to a place of expectancy. It opens in us an attitude of listening and respect. If everyone has in them the dimension of the unknown, possibility is present at all times. . . . Knowing this enables us to listen to life from the place in us that is Mystery also. Mystery requires that we relinquish an endless search for answers and become willing to not understand. . . . Perhaps real wisdom lies in not seeking answers at all. Any answer we find will not be true for long. An answer is a place where we can fall asleep as life moves past us to its next question. After all these years, I have begun to wonder if the secret of living well is not in having all the answers but in pursuing unanswerable questions in good company.

Rachel Naomi Remen, My Grandfather’s Blessings

Noticing the Dualistic mind today

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In the face of the economic hardship the world is now suffering, it is possible for us to spin out and become very dualistic. When we are not sure what’s going on, we react with fear and start labeling things black or white, good or bad, doomed to fail or destined to succeed. The process of labeling something because we are not sure what it is further increases the illusion of duality. Dualistic mind creates an aggressive scenario because we project a “self” and “other,” and this process becomes a cycle: the heavier the dualism, the heavier the fear.

What virtues can we develop to overcome the fear that freezes life into a dualistic illusion? Gentleness is key in overcoming the aggression that results from the process of fixating. We’re living in a time when even within our own mind, it is difficult to find peace. We label many faults in ourselves; we become harsh with ourselves. When we’re unable to find peace with ourselves, it becomes difficult to find peace with each other. So we must begin to practice peace by being gentle with ourselves. When we are gentle with ourselves, we are naturally gentle with others.

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, It’s Not Us and Them


Sunday Quote: Excuses

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The trick is not how much pain you feel – but how much joy you feel.

Any idiot can feel pain.

Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses.

Erica Jong

Splitting, blaming, doesn’t help

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If we think of suffering as something unnatural, something that we shouldn’t be experiencing, then it’s not much of a leap to begin to look for someone to blame for our suffering. If I’m unhappy, then I must be the victim of someone or something – an idea that’s all too common in the West. The victimizer may be the government, the educational system, abusive parents, a ‘dysfunctional family,’ the other gender or our uncaring mate. Or, we may turn the blame inward: there’s something wrong with me, I’m the victim of disease, of defective genes perhaps. But the risk of continuing to focus on assigning blame, and maintaining a victim stance, is the perpetuation of our suffering – with persistent feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment.

Dalai Lama

They never stay

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The bad weather this past week has meant that the blossoms on the cherry tree in the garden have all been blown away. Cherry blossoms have long been a symbol for transience and the the ephemeral nature of life, so I suppose they are even more so this year:

Nothing in the world
is usual today.
This is the first morning.

Come quickly –  as soon as
these blossoms open, they fall.
This world exists as a sheen of dew on flowers.

Izumi Shikibu,  10th Century Japanese poetess.

We usually take ourselves to be the sum of these thoughts, ideas, emotions and body sensations, but there is nothing solid to them. How can we claim to be our thoughts or opinions or emotions or body when they never stay the same?

Jack Kornfield

When we are unhappy

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As I have written before, Jacques Lusseyran was a French writer who took part in the Resistance against the German Occupation, and he continued to organize groups against the Nazis even after he was sent to Buchenwald concentration camp. His work was all the more striking because he was totally blind from the age of 8, following an accident at school. His experiences give him a certain authority when it comes to reflections on what makes for contentment or unhappiness:

Unhappiness, I saw then, comes to each of us because we think ourselves at the center of the world, because we have the miserable conviction that we alone suffer to the point of unbearable intensity. Unhappiness is always to feel oneself imprisoned in one’s own skin, in one’s own brain.

Jacques Lusseyran.