Make the most of life – Page 190

We are responsible for our reactions

January 25, 2012January 24, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

When your mind doesn’t stir inside, the world doesn’t arise outside. Bodhidharma

Pain does not necessarily lead to suffering, though the two are often linked as though they were one: pain-and-suffering. If we learn to distinguish the two, a different possibility opens up, a possibility that is as liberating as it is challenging. This possibility is the freedom of becoming responsible for our mind states, no matter what the situation. “Responsible for our mind states” – what does this mean? It means that no one else is responsible for your thoughts and stories, for your reactions to painful stimuli. Pain may come your way, but you do not have to add to this pain the suffering of thoughts and stories about why it happened and what should or should not be happening.

Gordon Peerman, Blessed Relief: What Christians can learn from Buddhists about Suffering

Estblishing patterns of rest

January 22, 2012January 19, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

The extent to which we are divorced from the complementary rhythms of restfulness and creativity is the extent to which we are cut off from patterns of well-being within ourselves and in our relationships. If we fail to establish regular practices of stillness and rest, our creativity will be either exhausted or shallow. Our countenance, instead of reflecting a vitality of fresh creative energy that is sustained by the restorative depths of stillness, will be listless or frenetic. This is true collectively as it is individually,and applies as much to human creativity as it does to the earth’s fruitfulness. Creativity without rest, and productivity without renewal, leads to exhaustion of our inner resources.

J. Philip Newell, The Book of Creation

Give yourself a break this weekend

January 21, 2012January 20, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

It’s important to acknowledge mistakes, feel appropriate remorse, and learn from them so they don’t happen again. But most people keep beating themselves up way past the point of usefulness: they’re unfairly self-critical. Inside the mind are many sub-personalities. For example, one part of me might set the alarm clock for 6 am to get up and exercise . . . and then when it goes off, another part of me could grumble: “Who set the darn clock?” More broadly, there is a kind of inner critic and inner protector inside each of us. For most people, that inner critic is continually yammering away, looking for something, anything, to find fault with. It magnifies small failings into big ones, punishes you over and over for things long past, ignores the larger context, and doesn’t credit you for your efforts to make amends.

Therefore, you really need your inner protector to stick up for you: to put your weaknesses and misdeeds in perspective, to highlight your many good qualities surrounding your lapses, to encourage you to keep getting back on the high road even if you’ve gone down the low one, and – frankly – to tell that inner critic to Shut Up.

Rick Hanson, The Art of Self-forgiveness

Working with all parts of our life

January 19, 2012January 18, 2012 Karl Duffy1 Comment

If God is right there in the midst of our struggle, then our aim is to stay there. We are to remain in the cell, to stay on the road, not to forego the journey or forget the darkness. It is all too easy for us to overlook the importance of struggle, preferring instead to secure peace and rest, or presuming to reach the stage of love prematurely. It is always easier to let things pass by, to go on without examination or effort. Yet, struggling means living. It is a way of fully living life and not merely observing it. It takes much time and a great effort to unite the disparate, disjointed and divided parts of the self into an integrated whole.

John Chryssavgis, In the Heart of the Desert

Not looking outside our lives….

January 16, 2012January 15, 2012 Karl DuffyLeave a comment

We all have a tendency to look outside for someone or some idea which will answer the questions which our lives pose, or in the face of changes which we do not expect. The current ongoing economic crises, news of natural or man-made disasters, unusual weather patterns, or even ancient calendars can mean that this New Year continues the ongoing sense of fear and uncertainty which has characterized the last few years. This exterior climate inevitably has an effect on our interior state of mind and the confidence we feel. It is not easy living in a time of fear, and it means we are more likely to seek solutions and changes proposed by others which seem to offer a more solid footing. Now we all receive guidance from other people and from reading the works of experienced teachers. However, when the external environment is tinged with fear, we often become more security-oriented in our lives, and the fear can prompt us to seek simple, quick certainties .

In general, mindfulness practice tells us that the best way to work with change is to look inside, and to slowly increase our interior freedom in the face of our fearful thoughts. It allows us to go beneath the surface level of reactive experience, which is frequently filtered through conditioning and emotions. It places our confidence in the working of the mind, not in looking excessively to heroes or gurus or the latest, quick-fix solutions. In this way, its slow confident progress is at odds with a rapidly changing world, which loves quick solutions and neat, happy endings.

This encouragement to look within applies to all, even to the best of teachers. In this story, the great Thai teacher, Ajahn Chah, takes advantage of Ajahn Sumedho’s complaints to make the point that, no matter what is going on in our lives or in the world, we have within us a capacity to work with it. We can apply this in our lives today, whenever we notice our tendency either to blame people or factors outside our mind for our moods or wishing for some magical change to come in the future.

Through the early years of his life as a monk with Ajahn Chah, Ajahn Sumedho was full of inspiration and could find no flaw in his teacher. As time went by and the glamour wore off somewhat, more and more cracks started to be seen in Ajahn Chah’s perfection. After some time Ajahn Sumedho could not hold back any longer and decided to broach these criticisms with the Master. Even though such face-to-face criticism is much avoided in Thai society, Ajahn Sumedho was an all-American boy and decided to talk straight. He went to Ajahn Chah and asked permission to recount his grievances, to which Ajahn Chah listened carefully and receptively.

When Ajahn Sumedho reached the end of his litany of complaints, Ajahn Chah paused for a few moments and then said: “Perhaps it’s a good thing that I’m not perfect, Sumedho, otherwise you might be looking for the Buddha somewhere outside your own mind”