We first learnt to reject our experience when we were growing up. As children our feelings were often too overwhelming for our fledgling nervous system to handle, much less understand. So when an experience was too much, and the adults in our environment could not help us relate to it, we learnt to contract our mind and body, shutting ourselves down, like a circuit breaker. This was our way of preserving and protecting oursleves…….In time, these contractions form the nucleus of an overall style of avoidance and denial.
Thus our psychological distress is composed of at least three elements: the basic pain of feelings that seem overwhelming, the contracting of mind and body to avoid feeling this pain; and the stress of continually having to prop up and defend an identity based on this avoidance and denial.
John Welwood, Toward a Psychology of Awakening
When emotional distress arises uninvited, we let the story line go and abide with the energy of that moment. This is a felt experience, not a verbal commentary on what is happening. We can feel the energy in our bodies. If we can stay with it, neither acting it out nor repressing it, it wakes us up. Not abiding with our energy is a predictable human habit. Acting out and repressing are tactics we use to get away from our emotional pain. For instance most of us when we’re angry scream or act it out. We alternate expressions of rage with feeling ashamed of ourselves and wallowing in it. We become so stuck in repetitive behavior that we become experts at getting all worked up. In this way we continue to strengthen our conflicting emotions.
When we practice it in meditation, self-acceptance entails noticing thoughts and emotions with empathy, but with a reduction of ….. the reactions of approval, disapproval or final judgment. This can give rise to two important realizations. First, through maintaining this equanimity, we can see patterns of thought and behaviour as they come and go – and let them do just that. So this provides a neutral space in which to witness what we often take to be “myself” as a dynamic of impulses, thoughts, responses and fresh impulses….. The second realization that depends on equanimity (and on investigation) is that mind-states are radically impermanent. If through sustaining equanimity, we stay focused on a mind-state, thought or emotion we notice that it ends – not in a sudden stop, but in a fading and an unravelling.
Normally, as a negative mood arises, it catches hold and infects the whole mind – we become that mood – with its characteristic form. This is the big weakness of the undeveloped mind – it makes how I feel into who I am. There’s a grasp, a contraction, and we get pushed into the story, get mesmerized by it and rehash it time and time again. 
Mindfulbalance 