More health benefits of mindfulness: Mindfulness, therapy and getting over our fears

There was an article in last Sunday’s Wall Street Journal on how increasingly Mindfulness is being used to help people overcome negative thoughts and feelings, or what the article terms, “the Voice” –  that nagging, persistent commentary in your head. It describes mindfulness as an effective way of doing therapy with these negative, judgmental thoughts, by training us to simply observe them, rather than trying to deny them. Getting frustrated with aspects of our lives – such as our weight, our relationships,  or our self-confidence –   and suddenly trying to change them, (a frequent strategy around New Year),  often only strengthens the grip of negative thoughts. Mindfulness, on the other hand, is based on us  becoming non-judgmentally familiar with the stream of thoughts and emotions which pass through our mind every minute and – this is the key –  observe them without getting involved, almost as if we were observing a parade on the street or a soap opera on television.

The article concludes with a quote from Marsha Linehan, who was one of the first to apply mindfulness principles in her work with Borderline patients. She speaks about the importance of not judging ourselves, of simply being with whatever arises in the mind as a thought or an emotion: “Most of us think that if we are judgmental enough, things will change. But judgment makes it harder to change. What happens in mindfulness over the long haul is that you finally accept that you’ve seen this soap opera before and you can turn off the TV.”

The whole article is well worth the read: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059823679423598.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_sections_health

The sea

Went for a beautiful walk yesterday along the long golden strand at Portmarnock. Looking out at the sea to the islands and the horizon in the afternoon sun. The movement of the waves bathed in sunshine, their energy, and the force of the wind, was not as impressive as the unbounded vastness of the sea. It is greater than me and my story. We are held and contained by our experience. Life teaches us. We do not need to be afraid. We just need to let go.

There are no footprints on the sea
and no road-signs, not a single
guard-stone or post, and no
bends, only paths of light and dark
from which to choose, the choice is always
a difficult navigation
and the storm’s wingspan immeasurable
as the depths and the horizon, but
the sea holds you in its mighty hand
your life is a sea-blue tale
of love and death.

Åse-Marie Nesse

Sunday Quote: Thirst

Another morning and I wake with thirst
for the goodness I do not have.

Mary Oliver

Healing

Everyone alive has suffered. It is the wisdom gained from our wounds and from our own experiences of suffering that makes us able to heal. Becoming expert has turned out to be less important than remembering and trusting the wholeness in myself and everyone else. Expertise cures, but wounded people can best be healed by other wounded people. Only other wounded people can understand what is needed, for the healing of suffering is compassion, not expertise.

Rachel Naomi Remen

The myth of normality

A quote from my favourite book of last year on a similar theme to Monday’s post on loneliness.Wisdom begins with clearly seeing the dynamics which operate in the ways that society portrays happiness.

The common myth that is perpetuated in society is that the normal person is happy, balanced and integrated – otherwise there is something wrong with them; maybe they’re mentally unstable. We’re even alarmed by unhappy people. Everyone in the media is smiling and cheerful. The politicians are all smiling, cheerful. confident; funeral homes even make the corpses up to look smiling, cheerful and confident.

Meanwhile however, perhaps you’re not smiling and you don’t feel cheerful and confident. You know you can’t live up to any of the images of the model person. You don’t have the right appearance or status symbols, your performance doesn’t cut it, you’re out of touch with the latest trends, or maybe you are just poor – someone whom society doesn’t want to acknowledge. Unhappiness in Western culture is often treated as a sign of failure. Others think, “They’re not happy, maybe they didn’t do enough. And maybe they’ll want something from me so I’d better steer away from them”

Ajahn Sucitto,  Turning the Wheel of Truth

Three simple steps towards a more balanced New Year: 3

The third step demands a little more thought: Simplify

Today’s world is full of information and complications. Decide what is essential in your life and make space for that by moving away from as many of the unnecessary things as possible. Focus on one thing at a time. Do less. Get rid of clutter. Say no. Reflect on what is “enough” in your life. Deconnect more.

Our life is frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify. Henry David Thoreau