A self compassion practice

Karl Duffy4 Comments

File:穏やかな眼差し Gentle Eyes (8360606632).jpg

We often find it easier to change and fix ourselves than to just accept ourselves, and as Pema Chodron once said, this can sometimes mask a subtle form of aggression towards ourselves. Frequently,  we expect some kinds of perfection in everything we undertake, so this variation on loving-kindness practice – suggested by Dr. Willoughby Britton – might be helpful. She recommends choosing one of the phrases and repeating them during the day, or when we are sitting in meditation:

I allow myself to be imperfect

I allow myself to make mistakes

I allow myself to be a learner in life

I forgive myself

May I be free

photo yuya sekiguchi

A paradox

Karl Duffy1 Comment

File:Sit 08860.jpg

Just sitting means just that. That ‘just’ endlessly goes against the grain of our need to fix, transform, and improve ourselves. The paradox of our practice is that the most effective way of transformation is to leave ourselves alone. The more we let everything be just what it is, the more we relax into an open, attentive awareness of one moment after another.

Barry Magid, Leave yourself alone

photo nevit dilmen

Part of life

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

Working with unpredictability

Trauma is not just the result of major disasters. It does not happen to only some people. An undercurrent of trauma runs through ordinary life, shot through as it is with the poignancy of impermanence. I like to say that if we are not suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, we are suffering from pre-traumatic stress disorder. There is no way to be alive without being conscious of the potential for disaster. One way or another, death (and its cousins: old age, illness, accidents, separation and loss) hangs over all of us. Nobody is immune. Our world is unstable and unpredictable, and operates, to a great degree and despite incredible scientific advancement, outside our ability to control it.

Mark Epstein, The Trauma of Being Alive, New York Times, August 2013

Control

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

Image taken from rawforbeauty.com

Our original Unity

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

File:Newgrange Entrance Stone.jpg

We are already one.

But we imagine that we are not.

And what we have to recover is our original unity.

What we have to be is what we are.

Thomas Merton

The way of not pushing

Karl DuffyLeave a comment

SweepingMonk

Most people want to have pure clarity,

but sweep as you will,

you cannot empty the mind.

Keizan Jokin, Zen master, 1268–1325