To practice we must see exactly where we are. Of course we can always imagine perfect conditions, how it should be ideally, how everyone else should behave. But it’s not our task to create an ideal. It’s our task to see how it is and to learn from the world as it is. For the awakening of the heart, conditions are always good enough.
Ajahn Sumedho
What we have to do is really feel the motivation that arises, not from trying to change ourselves but from trying to be ourselves as fully as we can.
The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go. Let’s rejoice in the little light we carry and not ask for the great beam that would take all shadows away.
Henry Nouwen, Bread for the Journey
That’s the magic moment-when we realize that searching outside of ourselves is not the way. At first it dawns on us just a little bit. And it gets clearer over time, as we continue to suffer. See, anything that we search for is going to disappoint us. Because there are no perfect beings, perfect jobs, perfect places to live. So the search ends exactly in one place, which is… disappointment. A good place. If we have any brains at all, it finally dawns on us: ‘I’ve done this before.’ and we begin to see that it isn’t the searching that’s at fault, but something about where we look. And we return more and more to the disappointment, which is always at the center.
The very peace we’ve been searching for so hard lies in recognizing this fact: I’m pinching myself. No one’s doing it to me. So the whole search begins to be abandoned and instead of searching, we begin to to see that practice isn’t a search. Practice is to be with that which motivates the search, which is unease, distress. And this is the turning around.
Charlotte Joko Beck, Everyday Zen
When we are visiting someone who is seriously ill we can find that words fail us. Simple gestures, like hugs, often work better. It spreads to the rest of our life too. We see more clearly what is essential and authentic. We move away from the masks we normally hide behind, the silly ways we relate. We reach out.
When the reverberations of shock subside in you,
may grace come to restore you to balance.
May it shape a new space in your heart
to embrace this illness as a teacher
who has come to open your life to new worlds.
May you find in yourself a courageous hospitality
towards what is difficult, painful and unknown.
May you use this illness as a lantern
to illuminate the new qualities that will emerge in you.
May your fragile harvesting of this slow light help you
release whatever has become false in you.
May you trust this light to clear a path
through all the fog of old unease and anxiety
until you feel a rising within you,
a tranquility profound enough to call the storm to stillness.
May you find the wisdom to listen to your illness,
ask it why it came,
why it chose your friendship,
where it wants to take you,
what it wants you to know,
what quality of space it wants to create in you,
what you need to learn to become more fully yourself,
that your presence may shine in the world.
May you keep faith with your body,
learning to see it as a holy sanctuary
which can bring this night wound
gradually towards the healing and freedom of dawn.
There was an article in last Sunday’s Wall Street Journal on how increasingly Mindfulness is being used to help people overcome negative thoughts and feelings, or what the article terms, “the Voice” – that nagging, persistent commentary in your head. It describes mindfulness as an effective way of doing therapy with these negative, judgmental thoughts, by training us to simply observe them, rather than trying to deny them. Getting frustrated with aspects of our lives – such as our weight, our relationships, or our self-confidence – and suddenly trying to change them, (a frequent strategy around New Year), often only strengthens the grip of negative thoughts. Mindfulness, on the other hand, is based on us becoming non-judgmentally familiar with the stream of thoughts and emotions which pass through our mind every minute and – this is the key – observe them without getting involved, almost as if we were observing a parade on the street or a soap opera on television.
The article concludes with a quote from Marsha Linehan, who was one of the first to apply mindfulness principles in her work with Borderline patients. She speaks about the importance of not judging ourselves, of simply being with whatever arises in the mind as a thought or an emotion: “Most of us think that if we are judgmental enough, things will change. But judgment makes it harder to change. What happens in mindfulness over the long haul is that you finally accept that you’ve seen this soap opera before and you can turn off the TV.”
The whole article is well worth the read: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059823679423598.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_sections_health
Mindfulbalance 