Tag: Acceptance

Noticing what we resist

Karl Duffy1 Comment

It is in running away from our “monsters” that we make them seem so solid. Whatever we resist exerts a strong hold on us: in solidifying it, we empower it to stay in our mind and our life. But when we cultivate the willingness to be with life just as it is, our relationship to what we’ve avoided starts to change. Once we see through the solidity of our resistance, our lives become more fluid and workable. We’re able to move beyond where we were once stuck. Even if we don’t like our life as it is, we don’t need to wage war against it. We can start meeting our resistance squarely by noticing all of the ways in which we avoid the present moment, the ways in which we avoid practice, the ways in which we resist what is. Understanding the depth of our resistance is of major importance in furthering our practice.

Ezra Bayda, Breaking Through

Attending to our emotions

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How do we get to feel good, or at least OK, with others — and when we’re alone? A big part of the solution comes from attending to the flow of emotions. But you can’t do that unless you’re prepared to feel them in a focused and non-reactive way. That is why we meditate; that’s what mindfulness is about. When we bring mindfulness to bear on how we’re affected, what arises is a means to handle the emotions — in a non-separative, non-judgemental way.

Ajahn Sucitto, Cultivating Empathy

Discovering what needs to be let go of.

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No matter how fortunate your circumstances are, life can at times be stressful and challenging. We often try to ignore this fact and therefore feel frustrated and disappointed when we don’t get our own way. Just as we did when approaching compassion, it can be useful to think back to the blue sky analogy when you reflect on acceptance.

The journey to acceptance is about discovering what we need to let go of, rather than what we need to start doing. By noticing moments of resistance throughout the day, you can start to become more aware of what prevents acceptance from naturally arising. This in turn will allow you to view the thoughts and feelings that arise during your meditation with a much greater sense of ease.

Andy Puddicombe, Ten Tips for Living more Mindfully

Travelling lightly

Karl Duffy3 Comments

It’s like a dance. And we have to give each being space to dance their dance. Everything is dancing; even the molecules inside the cells are dancing. But we make our lives so heavy. We have these incredibly heavy burdens we carry with us like rocks in a big rucksack. We think that carrying this big heavy rucksack is our security; we think it grounds us. We don’t realize the freedom, the lightness of just dropping it off, letting it go. That doesn’t mean giving up relationships; it doesn’t mean giving up one’s profession, or one’s family,or one’s home. It has nothing to do with that; it’s not an external change. It’s an internal change. It’s a change from holding on tightly to holding very lightly.

Tenzin Palmo, Into the Heart of Life

Not about getting anywhere

Karl Duffy5 Comments

Practice is not about highlighting all sorts of “good” qualities and getting rid of “bad” ones. No one is “good” or “bad.” The struggle to be good is not what practice is. That type of training is a subtle form of athleticism. We all hope to change, to get somewhere! That in itself is the basic fallacy. But just contemplating this desire begins to clarify it, and the practice basis of our life alters as we do so. We begin to comprehend that our frantic desire to get better, to get “somewhere,” is illusion itself, and the source of suffering.

Charlotte Joko  Beck

Our thoughts about our difficulties

Karl Duffy2 Comments

We suffer a lot through our thoughts, more commonly so in the West nowadays than through physical problems. And in meditation we start to recognize that any physical pains that we do have can be made much worse by the attitude with which we hold them. Much the same goes for pain from a mental, perceptual source. Thinking forms a significant part of the way physical pain is held; it is charged with emotional drives that give rise to that ‘trapped, desperate, this shouldn’t be happening’ mood. Then there are the pleasant sensations or mental states accompanied by ‘more of this, this is the way it should be’ and the neutral accompanied by ‘well, shouldn’t something be happening?’ Although these moods do the holding, they in turn are backed up and incited by the thinking process. ‘I was feeling OK until I started thinking about the rotten deal I got, or what someone else is getting, or the way it was, or the way things ought to be…’

Ajahn Sucitto