Kindness towards ourselves

Embodied meditation is a very different and far more fruitful way to practice than the disembodied path we have been following.  But this leaves us wondering just how to carry out our meditation in an embodied manner and inhabit our body in practice.  Most fundamentally, meditating with the body involves paying attention to the body in a direct and non-conceptual way.  This calls for very focused work and requires regularity, steadiness, and an ongoing commitment.  In fact, I would say that once we “catch on” to what meditating with the body is all about, we enter a path that will unfold as long as there is life.  At the same time, the experiential impact of the work is immediately felt, so there is confirmation of the rightness of what we are doing and as an evolving natural trust in the process that is beginning to unfold.

Reggie Ray

Waiting for life to begin

We think that happiness is only possible in the future – when we get a house, a car, a Ph.D. We struggle in our mind and body, and we don’t touch the peace and joy that are available right now – the blue sky, the green leaves, the eyes of our beloved.

Thich Nhat Hahn

Interrupting a cycle of reactivity

One of the key, frequent,  things in life is having to deal with disappointment. And consequently a lot of our suffering comes from this area, as like this first quote says. We prefer to rerun the memory of an event or a feeling or some words, rather like a dog returning to a bone. A wiser way of acting is suggested in the second quote, staying as close as possible to the felt sense of the experience, thus limiting  it spinning off into a reactive cycle of thoughts and emotions.

Disappointment has a chimerical quality because our minds refuse to accept what is; therefore, we relive the disappointment over and over again, never noticing after the initial experience that it is only a memory we are re-experiencing, much like watching old movie reruns.

If you can stay present when something disappointing occurs, the next response is to open fully to the experience. Don’t deny it, don’t push it away, but realize, “Ah, this is disappointment. What does it taste like? Where is it in my body? Is the feeling expanding or contracting?” Open to the experience of disappointment so that you can accept it and let it pass through your mind and heart. Then you can go on with your life’s journey and not be frozen in place by your pain.

Philip Moffitt, Living with Disappointment

Seeing things as temporary guests

Our practice is not to shut everything out; it’s to remain conscious of our environment and what’s happening in it. Then we can deal with it appropriately. We can open the door to our angry thought, listen to it, and then ask it to leave. We recognize it as a thought and don’t mistake it for who we are. That’s the point. It shifts the experience. Instead of thinking, “I’m really angry right now,” we think, “Oh, look, an angry thought has entered my mind.” It’s easy to let go of a thought that’s a guest in your mind; it’s harder when you take on the identity of the guest.

Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche, Rebel Buddha

Staying with what is

Meditation strengthen our steadfastness to be with ourselves. Whatever arises – pain, boredom, sleepiness, wild thoughts or emotions – we learn to stay with it. We come to see that meditation isn’t about attaining some ideal state. It’s about being able to stay with ourselves, no matter what.

Pema Chodron

Working with difficult moments

When pain or distress arises in our bodies, our conditioned reaction is to pin it down and solidify it with concepts. We say “my knee,” “my back,” “my illness,” and the floodgates of apprehension are opened. We predict a dire future for ourselves, fear the intensification of the pain, and at times dissolve into helplessness and despair. Our concepts serve both to make the pain more rigid and to undermine our capacity to respond to it skillfully. We are caught in the tension of wanting to divorce ourselves from a distressed body while the intensity of pain keeps drawing us back into our body. Meditation offers a very different way of responding to pain in our bodies. Instead of employing strategies to avoid it, we learn to investigate what is actually being experienced within our bodies calmly and curiously. We can bring a compassionate, accepting attention directly to the core of pain. This is the first step towards healing and releasing the agitation and dread that often intensify pain.

Christine Feldman, Suffering is Optional