Sometimes out of reach

What I most want is to spring out of this personality, then to sit apart from that leaping.  I’ve lived too long where I can be reached. Rumi

Our lives are often like over-packed suitcases. It seems like we are always busy, always over-pressured, always one phone call, one text message, one email, one visit, and one task behind. We are forever anxious about what we have still left undone, about whom we have disappointed, about unmet expectations. Moreover, inside of all of that, we can forever be reached. We have no quiet island to escape to, no haven of solitude. We can always be reached. Half the world has our contact numbers and we feel pressure to be available all the time. So we often feel as if we are on a treadmill from which we would want to step off. And within all that busyness, pressure, noise, and tiredness we long for solitude, long for some quiet, peaceful island where all the pressure and noise will stop and we can sit in simple rest. That’s a healthy yearning. It’s our soul speaking. Like our bodies, our souls too keep trying to tell us what they need.

[But]…Solitude is not something we turn on like a water faucet. It needs a body and mind slowed down enough to be attentive to the present moment. We are in solitude when….we fully taste the water we are drinking, feel the warmth of our blankets, and are restful enough to be content inside our own skin. We don’t often accomplish this, despite sincere effort, but we need to keep making new beginnings.

Ron Rolheiser, Longing For Solitude

How we give up fixed positions and get peace

Through examining and contemplating perceptions, we begin to see the relative truths of the angles or biases that we have, the blaming, self-blaming or justifying, or ignoring. Perceptions don’t give you an ultimate reality; they give you a subjective readout of where you’re coming from. Widening the perceptual field means the mind becomes more peaceful, less defensive and less obsessive….You realize everything and anything that is held onto can’t be an ultimate truth, it’s just a naming, based upon a position. Through insight into perception, the mind has given up on “naming” and has realized peace.

Ajahn Sucitto, Working with Perception

Life is a series of surprises

Life is a series of surprises, and would not be worth taking or keeping, if it were not. God delights to isolate us every day, and hide from us the past and the future. We would look about us, but with grand politeness he draws down before us an impenetrable screen of purest sky, and another behind us of purest sky. “You will not remember,” he seems to say, “and you will not expect.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson, Circles

Holding on to what was once real

What we are so afraid of losing are qualities that we have discovered and invested in the particular forms we are attached to. We have confused these qualities with the forms we have discovered them in.

Kabir Helminski, Living Presence: A Sufi Way to Mindfulness and the Essential Self

Sunday Quote: Nowhere to go, nothing to achieve

If you cannot find the truth right where you are,

where else do you expect to find it?

Dogen

Replacing conversation with connection

Working with my friend Philip at StarbucksWe live in a technological universe in which we are always communicating. And yet we have sacrificed conversation for mere connection……In the silence of connection, people are comforted by being in touch with a lot of people — carefully kept at bay. We can’t get enough of one another if we can use technology to keep one another at distances we can control: not too close, not too far, just right.

Human relationships are rich; they’re messy and demanding. We have learned the habit of cleaning them up with technology. And the move from conversation to connection is part of this. But it’s a process in which we shortchange ourselves. Worse, it seems that over time we stop caring, we forget that there is a difference. We are tempted to think that our little “sips” of online connection add up to a big gulp of real conversation. But they don’t. E-mail, Twitter, Facebook, all of these have their places — in politics, commerce, romance and friendship. But no matter how valuable, they do not substitute for conversation.

We expect more from technology and less from one another and seem increasingly drawn to technologies that provide the illusion of companionship without the demands of relationship……When people are alone, even for a few moments, they fidget and reach for a device. Here connection works like a symptom, not a cure, and our constant, reflexive impulse to connect shapes a new way of being.

Sherry Turkle, “The Flight from Conversation”, New York Times, April 21, 2012