Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different;
Enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will);
Being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).
James Baraz
To overcome perfectionism, you’d have to learn to accept reality for what it is at any given moment. I can imagine the objections: ” What? Accept the reality as it is? You must be kidding me!” Not at all. There are two reasons to accept reality as it is. First, there is no other reality at any given point in time than the one that there is. We can think of things being different from how they are at this period in time, but this hypothetically better, ideal reality exists only in our minds. In reality, there is just reality. So what is there to accept but this? The second reason for accepting the present reality as it is? It’s already perfect.
Pavel Somov, Present Perfect
It took a long time for the analytical world to look at the importance of the way a baby is held, and yet when you come to think of it, this is of primary importance. The question of holding brings up the whole issue of human reliability.
Winnicott
By not stopping our thoughts and feelings in meditation, we are paving the way for gentle ways of being with our experience. When thoughts are intentionally cut off, that is often an act of harming. if it is done aggressively, even with a miniscule amount of force, it supports and furthers the tendency to get rid of thoughts rather than to get to know them. Our ability to get to know our thoughts and feelings depends on our ability to stay with them, and staying with them depends on our capacity not to get rid of them. Holding our experience gently, thoughts and feeling come and go in their own time.
Jason Siff, Unlearning Meditation
I have tried to stress the critical importance of the non-dual aspect of meditation by emphasizing that it is not about getting anywhere else. This of course immediately brings up a lot of bewilderment in people, because almost everything we do seems to be about trying to get somewhere else. Why on earth would you not want to get somewhere else? If you’re in a lot of pain, or if you have some kind of illness or whatever, you always want to get back to where you were, or get to some better place in the future. It sounds almost un-American just to settle for what is, but that is a misunderstanding of the potential for living in the present moment. It’s not a matter of settling. It’s a matter of recognizing that, in some sense, it never gets any better than this.
Jon Kabat Zinn.
People go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, the huge waves of the sea, the broad streams of rivers, the vastness of the ocean, the turnings of the stars — and they do not notice themselves.
St Augustine, Confessions
Since in order to speak,
one must first listen,
learn to speak by listening.
Rumi
