When the stories of our life no longer bind us, we discover within them something greater. We discover that within the very limitations of form, of our maleness and femaleness, of our parenthood and our childhood, of gravity on the earth and the changing of the seasons, is the freedom and harmony we have sought for so long. Our individual life is an expression of the whole mystery, and in it we can rest in the center of the movement, the center of all worlds
Jack Kornfield, A Path With Heart
The afternoon of life is just as full of meaning as the morning;
only its meaning and purpose are different.
C. G . Jung
The first of the leaves are starting to change colour here in Ireland, announcing the immanent arrival of a change in the seasons. So, a short reflection on the different rhythms and periods in our lives. Nikos Kazanzakis once told of a talk he had with an old monk about the changes that happen in life. He asked him “Do you still struggle with the devil?” “Oh, no,” the old man replied, “I used to struggle with him, when I was young, but now I’ve grown old and tired and the devil has grown old and tired with me. We leave each other alone!” “So it’s easy for you now?” asked the young Kazantzakis. “Oh no,” replied the old man, “it’s worse, far worse! Now I wrestle with God!”
The Old Testament story of Jacob wrestling with God all night long is in the background here. What the monk suggests is that there are different challenges or tasks at different times in our lives, and that struggles can mean growth and are not necessarily a sign of problems. In the early part of our life the main task is to develop the ego sufficiently to leave ones parents and establish oneself in the world. There is a certain, necessary, focus on establishing a career, independence and relationship, with a paradigm of succeeding. So one can be driven by the strong forces of ambition and the need for achievement, position and a recognized role.
The task in the second part of life is quite different. The struggles can be can be other than what we had to face earlier on. The drive for success which marked the first years has achieved all it can or has not delivered the fulfillment it promises. The underlying needs of the Self begin to assert themselves. What I notice most in working with clients is that a new paradigm is needed. A deeper struggle – this time largely inside the person – takes place, often to fill in the missing pieces of the personality, neglected up to now. The challenge is to become more honest and more whole, to free what was blocked and live life most fully. We have to wrestle, sometimes with a crisis, defeat, disappointment or loss, in order to leave behind patterns or strategies that are no longer effective and will no longer bring us growth.
I mean the Angel who appeared
to the wrestlers of the Old Testament …
Whoever was beaten by this angel
(who often simply declined the fight)
went away proud and strengthened
and great from that harsh hand
that kneaded him as if to change his shape.
Winning does not tempt that man.
This is how he grows: by being defeated, decisively,
by constantly greater things.
Rilke, The Man Watching
The wine of youth does not always clear with advancing years; sometimes it grows turbid. The very frequent neurotic disturbances of adult years all have one thing in common: they want to carry the psychology of the youthful phase over the threshold of the so-called years of discretion….The neurotic is rather a person who can never have things as he would like them in the present, and who can therefore never enjoy the past either.
Jung, The Structure and Dynamic of the Psyche
We are a “first-half-of-life-culture”, largely concerned with surviving successfully. We all try to do what seems like the task that life first hands to us: establishing an identity, a home, relationships, a family, community, security and building a proper platform for our only life. But it takes us much longer to discover “the task within the task” as I like to call it: what we are really doing when we are doing what we are doing.
Richard Rohr, Falling Upward.
Our life’s work is to use what we have been given to wake up. If there were two people who were exactly the same – same body, same speech, same mind, same mother, same father, same house, same food, everything the same – one of them could use what he has to wake up, and the other could use it to become more resentful, more bitter, and sour….whatever you’re given can wake you up or put you to sleep. That’s the challenge of now: what are you going to do with what you have already – your body, your speech, your mind.
Pema Chodron, The Wisdom of No Escape
Don’t look at your feet to see if you are doing it right.
Just dance
Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Instructions on Writing and Life
photo quinn anya
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