Illness and the essential

When we are visiting someone who is seriously ill we can find that words fail us. Simple gestures, like hugs, often work better. It spreads to the rest of our life too. We see more clearly what is essential and authentic. We move away from the masks we normally hide behind, the silly ways we relate. We reach out.

Now is the time of dark invitation beyond a frontier that you did not expect.
Abruptly your old life seems distant.
You barely noticed how each day opened a path through fields never questioned
yet expected deep down to hold treasure. 

When the reverberations of shock subside in you,
may grace come to restore you to balance.
May it shape a new space in your heart
to embrace this illness as a teacher
who has come to open your life to new worlds.
May you find in yourself a courageous hospitality
towards what is difficult, painful and unknown.

May you use this illness as a lantern
to illuminate the new qualities that will emerge in you.
May your fragile harvesting of this slow light help you
release whatever has become false in you.
May you trust this light to clear a path
through all the fog of old unease and anxiety
until you feel a rising within you,
a tranquility profound enough to call the storm to stillness.

May you find the wisdom to listen to your illness,
ask it why it came,
why it chose your friendship,
where it wants to take you,
what it wants you to know,
what quality of space it wants to create in you,
what you need to learn to become more fully yourself,
that your presence may shine in the world.

May you keep faith with your body,
learning to see it as a holy sanctuary
which can bring this night wound
gradually towards the healing and freedom of dawn.

John O’Donohue, A Blessing for a Friend on the Arrival of Illness

The sea

Went for a beautiful walk yesterday along the long golden strand at Portmarnock. Looking out at the sea to the islands and the horizon in the afternoon sun. The movement of the waves bathed in sunshine, their energy, and the force of the wind, was not as impressive as the unbounded vastness of the sea. It is greater than me and my story. We are held and contained by our experience. Life teaches us. We do not need to be afraid. We just need to let go.

There are no footprints on the sea
and no road-signs, not a single
guard-stone or post, and no
bends, only paths of light and dark
from which to choose, the choice is always
a difficult navigation
and the storm’s wingspan immeasurable
as the depths and the horizon, but
the sea holds you in its mighty hand
your life is a sea-blue tale
of love and death.

Åse-Marie Nesse

Sunday Quote: Thirst

Another morning and I wake with thirst
for the goodness I do not have.

Mary Oliver

How we speak to ourselves

I tell mindfulness practitioners to listen to the tone their inner voice uses to comment on their experience. I ask them to consider whether, if they had a friend who spoke that way, they would keep that friend.

The moment in which people discover they are not holding themselves in compassion, not speaking kindly, is often startling and always sad. That awareness is sometimes enough to cause the critic’s voice to soften, and the soother’s voice to be heard.

Sylvia Boorstein, I’m Not ok, you’re not ok  – and thats ok

Preparing for a new year

As yesterday’s post said, people begin to look forward to the new year as an opportunity to start again. This is natural, but frequently does not lead to any real change, unless we understand the patterns within our own heart. Any lasting growth comes from  an understanding of our heart, with all its needs and hopes, its vulnerabilities and wisdom.  This means that we can drop all pretense and the need to blame others for what is lacking in our lives.  In many cases the desire for change around this time is based on comparing our lives with others and feeling we are lacking.  Instead of looking outward, we turn within and gently look forward – not based on fear of where we are now or criticism of this past year – but rather accepting who we are and opening to the new opportunities which will unfold.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.

Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

C.G. Jung

Fog and living moment to moment

Dark and foggy. The mountains hidden. All we can be sure of is this moment. We do not really know what the future holds. We construct the future not by dreaming how we would like it to be,  but by living the reality of what is in our life at this moment.

The future is completely open,

and we are writing it moment to moment.

Pema Chodron