More on what I wrote about earlier this week prompted by seeing the hawk, and echoing Ajahn Sumedho’s words this morning, on simply being ourselves, and believing that this is enough, that it is a safe place to be. Over these past weeks I have met a lot of people who were tormented by self-doubt, by thoughts of never being “good enough”. Often this has led them to adopt strategies of pushing themselves in order to cover up some deep sense of lack. Some were afraid to admit their own needs because they had come to believe that the only way of being accepted was to be the perfect partner, the perfect girlfriend or boyfriend, doing everything for the other. Or others responded to their inner insecurity by controlling their partner or life so much, thus ensuring that they will therefore never leave them or never be left just with themselves.
Healing comes when we realize that we are perfect, just as we are, before we do anything, from being secure in our sense of self. The more we can sit simply with ourselves, the more we realize that everything we need for our happiness is already here, even with the histories we have had or the disappointments we have endured. Once again we can learn from nature: like the still hawk in the sky or the silent rose in the quote below, we try to be still and not run after happiness outside ourselves. Agere sequitur esse as the Medieval Philosophers liked to remind us: our actions flow out of our being. However, this is not just a philosophical truth. It is a practical way of increasing happiness moment by moment, day by day. Let go of all we think we have to add on to ourselves in order to be accepted or for this moment to be whole.
Does the rose have to do something? No, the purpose of a rose is to be a rose. Your purpose is to be yourself. You don’t have to run anywhere to become someone else. You are wonderful just the way you are. This teaching …. allows us to enjoy ourselves, the blue sky, and everything that is refreshing and healing in the present moment. We already have everything we are looking for, everything we want to become. I am happy in the present moment. I do not ask for anything else. I do not expect any additional happiness. Aimlessness is stopping and realizing the happiness that is already available.
Thich Nhat Hahn
When reality is formed through our personal view, we attempt to think our way out of pain, which simultaneously maintains our story and perpetuates the pain. The sense-of-self only knows how to handle problems and proceed using its story, which is composed of thoughts and emotions that have formed around past failures and successes. We prefer to tackle one problem at a time, resolving the first before moving onto the next. This strategy is derived from the storyteller who attempts to perpetuate his purpose and meaning by resolving the difficulties of his story. Each resolved problem or failure confirms a growing self-image and adds a new chapter to our tale of woe or sense of nobility.
Mindfulbalance 