Staying with yourself in moments of difficulty

The importance of meditation, yoga, and other spiritual practices is that they allow you to reconnect with your priorities over and over again. At least for a moment, you let loose of your fears, experience a touch of mental clarity, and feel the sweet breeze of a peaceful mind. You become accustomed to staying with yourself in moments of difficulty and learn not to let them consume your mind. You develop concentration that leads to strength of mind.  Certain practices teach you to stay within the body in times of emotional turmoil. Most of all, you find a place outside the ego in which you can receive any experience without neglecting the ego’s needs….. Every human being has this innate capacity to act outside the immediate ego panic. Spiritual practice makes it more likely that it will be accessible in a time of need.

Phillip Moffit,  Surrendering to Suffering

We fall, we get back up

As yesterday morning’s post stated, we can find that we pass through periods which don’t fit our picture of how we want our life to be. Or we can find that some things don’t go exactly as we would like. These words of the Irish writer, Samuel Beckett, can help at such times and  show a deep understanding of the gentleness and non-judmental attitude we need to take towards ourselves in meditation and in life. The key in both is simply starting over, without letting  judgmental or self-critical thoughts take over. We like to imagine that we can have a mind without fault, but mostly this is not possible. We imagine we will someday have a perfect personality, but again this is unlikely to last long. So our main work is cultivating self-compassion and not dwelling too long on critical stories about ourselves.

Ever tried. Ever failed.

No matter.

Try Again. Fail again.

Fail better

Samuel Beckett, Worstward Ho

Our deepest calling

Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic selfhood,

whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be.

As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks –

we will also find our path of authentic service in the world.

Parker Palmer

When we are hurt in our life

Sitting with and through all sorts of conditions that don’t fit our picture of how we want our life to go may be a far more valuable practice than being able to settle into a calm or blissful quiet. When we sit we are doing two things. First, sitting becomes a container; whatever has happened we sit still and feel it. The other side of sitting is the stillness of non-reactivity. We feel all…without doing anything to anybody. The feeling becomes our own responsiblity. Instead of our attention being directed, as it usually is, to making somebody else treat us differently, the way we want to be treated, we come back to experiencing what is at stake in being treated this way, what the hurt is really all about, and who we think we are that we can be hurt.

Barry Magid, Ending the Pursuit of Happiness

Staying with the way things are

The ancient festival of Samhain, which lies behind modern-day Halloween, marked the end of the Celtic year as well as putting an end to agricultural work and trade. It meant that people followed the rhythm of nature and wound down their activity. This festival began that period of resting and was an occasion for meeting up, for building bonfires, celebrating the harvest and for storytelling. It was also the traditional time for slaughtering animals in order to prepare stores of meat and grain to last through the coming winter. The bonfire tradition still persists in Ireland and England to this day. Despite the fanciful modern notion that it was a night when  the spirit world was particularly close, it is more correct to say that the whole Celtic worldview saw very little division between the worlds, and this view was present every day of the year. This does not mean the modern Halloween emphasis on ghosts and goblins but rather a  sense of an openness to the spiritual in the everyday, reflected in the Irish langauge’s belief that the other world was always there right beside you, in every field and on every hilltop, in the trees and animals and even in the stones.

We move from this worldview when we think that life is better somewhere else, other than in the tasks we face this day, and everyday. We often treat the things that we have to do, especially if they are repetitive or mundane,   as moments to be gotten “out-of-the-way” so that we can get to something more “meaningful” or exciting. But, as the Irish poet Paddy Kavanagh, who is rooted in this Celtic worldview,  reminds us, God is in the bits and pieces of everyday. He saw his writing as an attempt to explode the atoms of ordinary experience. And all wisdom traditions  agree with this ancient way of seeing, as do modern stress reduction programmes, when they speak about paying attention to what is happening now, and not rushing past it.  The way to contentment is not by waiting to have the best of everything but by being able to start with what we already have – this schedule, the personality we have, the situation we are actually in, the demands of this day.  In working with these we are putting ourselves in contact with this actual moment and not doing what we frequently prefer – living in thoughts or idealistic dreams about it.

Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

Rumi

Why not start now?

A poem at the start of a new week. We are continually presented with opportunities to start over again.

Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.

This opening to the life
we have refused
again and again
until now.
Until now

David Whyte, Where Many Rivers Meet