To be at peace with myself means to accept myself the way I am; to reduce the split that is created by the image of what I would like to be and who I really am; to be patient with myself, especially in regard to what conflicts with my idealized self.
Anselm Grun
We human beings have a great need to tell our life stories in a coherent and, we believe, in a complete way. Thus, we like to see that where we are now makes some sense, and we spend a lot of our time internally discussing where we are, justifying our choices and the turns that our life has taken. What we often find when we sit in meditation is that we prefer to go back to our stories rather than just sit there with what is in the present. I know that most of my distractions are me telling – to myself – the “Karl story” with its usual embellishments and drama. What I fail to notice is that this story is really a fiction as it tends to select the parts of my current life or history that were painful or that I have elaborated on – or chosen to magnify – because I see them as successes and like the direction they show my life to be headed in. However, it can help if we see our lives as always a work in progress, and that we can never be sure of the meaning behind certain events until we reach the last chapter. It is good to challenge the notion that our ongoing story needs to be somehow complete to save us from getting trapped in our own stories. This can free us to approach each moment with fresh eyes.
All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
The mind is everything.
What we think we become
The Buddha
Our task is to find a balance, to find a middle way, to learn not to overextend ourselves with extra activities and preoccupations, but to simplify our lives more and more. The key to finding a happy balance in modern life is simplicity
Sogyal Rimpoche, Glimpse after Glimpse
Forgiveness is not always easy.
At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it.
And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.
Sit comfortably for a few moments, letting your body be at rest. Bring your attention into the present and notice whatever sensations are present in your body. In particular, be aware of any sensation, tensions or pains you may have been fighting. Do not try to change them, simply notice them with an interested and kind attention. In each area of struggle you discover, let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting. Breathe quietly and let it be.
Continue to sit quietly. Then cast your attention over all the battles that still exist in your life. Sense them inside yourself. If you have an ongoing struggle with your body, be aware of that. If you have been fighting inner wars with your feelings, being in conflict with your own loneliness, fear, confusion, grief, anger or addiction, sense the struggle you have been waging. Notice the struggles in your thoughts as well. Be aware of how you have carried on the inner battles. Notice the inner armies, the inner dictators, the inner fortifications. Be aware of all that you have fought within yourself, of how long you have perpetuated the conflict.
Gently, with openness, allow each of these experiences to be present. In each area of struggle, let your body,heart and mind be soft. Open to whatever you experience without fighting. Let it be present just as it is. Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let yourself be at rest. Invite all parts of yourself to join you at the peace table in your heart
Jack Kornfield, A Path with Heart
The first duty of love is to listen
Paul Tillich
