Balancing different aspects

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When I was young I went on holidays to my uncle’s farm in the West of Ireland and this day, which was a holiday, was seen as  marking the change from the Summer season to Autumn. My aunt would say that the days started getting shorter once this day was over.  Maybe so,  here in this part of Western Europe.  However, there is a different awareness in mainland Europe  –  in countries such as Italy – where this day ,  Fer Agosto , is the central day of the Summer Holidays, characterized by warm weather and family meals.  This is an ancient day of celebration, stretching back to the Roman feriae Augusti  (August break) when horse races were organized, as they are still in the famous Paleo in Siena.  It marked the high point of the Summer heat, realizing a human need for a break before the important work of the harvest began,

The religious calendar often piggy-backed on these human rhythms and celebrations and August 15th is no exception, celebrated by Catholics as the Assumption of Mary,  the mother of Jesus, believing that Mary was taken directly, bodily,  into heaven.   I am not too interested in understanding the theological mystery of this day or looking at things from the viewpoint of what may or may not happen at the end of time. I am more interested in the fact that Carl Jung stated that establishing this feastday was the most important religious event since the Reformation in the 16th Century. He felt it finally gave due recognition to the feminine aspect of the person, emphasizing the role of the anima alongside the animus.

Jung said that this was “the profoundest problem afflicting the human psyche: an imbalance which favored masculine principles and archetypes over the feminine ones”.  It is an imbalance which seems to have been recognized in all religions and wisdom traditions, as we find representations of female figures from the Virgin Mary in Catholicism and Orthodoxy  to Quan Yin in Buddhism.  However, what  Jung is drawing our attention to, is the need to acknowledge these aspects not just outside us, in our religious figures, but also within ourselves and within society, a task which clearly has a long way to go. 

It is clear that Western Society is built on an over-emphasis of traits and activities that are considered masculine –  logical thinking, analysis, action, and has neglected its feminine,  more contemplative side (while ironically at the same time, having an objectified,  sexualized version of romantic love). So Jung prompts us to reflect on the need to balance aspects within ourself and within society, embrace the energies and understandings that come from both male and female principles.  In simplistic terms this may alert us to the need to hold both logic and creativity, decisiveness and compassion, inner work and outer ambition. He goes on to say that this can fulfil “that yearning for peace which stirs deep down in the soul, and for a resolution of the threatening tension between opposites. Everyone shares this tension and everyone experiences it in his individual form of unrest”. 

Jung seems to suggest that the unrest we experience comes when we do not get a balance between the different elements within us. It seems that becoming whole is a matter of balancing the different intelligences with us, the head, body and heart, and this can be help by a meditation practice which consciously holds the  inner and outer, the self and others.  However,  we frequently overemphasize one aspect over another. working too much at times, such as spending too much energy on the outer while neglecting relationships or leisure. Furthermore, when we do not find the balance inside we tend to project it outside.  This can often be noticed when we are moved to see in another person or in an object or career all the qualities which we think will definitely fulfil and complete us, alerting us to the fact that what we are actually glimpsing are missing aspects of ourselves, or unlived parts of our life. .

The quality of all of our relationships is a direct function of our relationship to ourselves. Since much of our relationship to ourselves  operates at an unconscious level, most of the drama and dynamics of our relationships to others and the transcendent is expressive or our own personal psychology. The best thing we can do for our relationships with others, and with the transcendent, then, is to render our relationship with ourselves more conscious.

James Hollis, The Eden Project

photo Fir0002/Flagstaffotos

 

 

Moving forward in spite of our fears

curragh

I drove back from some meetings yesterday across the Curragh, which is unique in Ireland as a flat open plain of land which has existed for thousands of years as uncultivated land, nowadays used for grazing.  It is without fences, so the sheep roam freely, and sit at the side of the road, or, as was the case yesterday, simply wander out in front of the car without any regard for safety or “rules”. It was interesting to see them behaving without fear because of their familiarity with traffic and because they have become used to the freedom of the area, having grown up in flocks where this “courage” was normal.  Most of our fearful behaviour is learnt, often due to frightening responses or lack of encouragement when we were young, or simply by being in proximity with people whose dominant narrative was fearful.  Knowing where they originate is less important than recognizing their presence in us as adults, where they frequently operate as thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations that we may not be aware of or simply think are inevitable.

We are more addicted to fear than to fearlessness. Notice how much of the day you hold tightly to your fears, especially the fear of the loss of control. All of our “what if” thinking falls into this category: “What if I don’t do it right?” “What if it’s painful?” “What if I look bad?“ These thoughts are based on wanting to control some imagined future more than on what’s happening now. It’s crucial to see and to label them with the question: “What is my most believed thought right now?”

After seeing the mental constructs, we just sit, experiencing what’s happening right now, aware of the intense physical sensations of anxiety — the tightness, the queasiness, the narrowing down. We might ask the practice question, “What is this moment?” What happens when we do this? Finding the answer is what practice is really about.

Again, the simplicity and clarity of practice amounts to this: first, we must see through the mental process, dropping the story line of “me.” What is the story line of “me”? It’s the addiction to comfort and thoughts, to our self-judgments and emotions, to our identities and our fears.

Ezra Bayda

What meditation is really about

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These are the things we can contemplate. We can’t control what arises in the mind, but we can reflect on what we are feeling and learn from it rather than simply being caught helplessly in our impulses and habits. Even though there is a lot in life that we can’t change, we can change our attitude towards it. That’s what so much of meditation is really about — changing our attitude from a self-centered, “get rid of this or get more of that” to one of welcoming life as it is. Welcoming the opportunity to eat food that we don’t like. Welcoming wearing three robes on a hot morning. Welcoming discomfort, feeling fed up, wanting to run away. This way of welcoming life reflects a deeper understanding. Life is like this. Sometimes it’s very nice, sometimes it’s horrible, and much of the time it’s neither one way nor the other. Life is like this.

Ajahn Sumedho

photo of welcoming ritual in India by mckay savage

The role of confusion

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Dull and misty morning in Ireland today, obscuring the landscape and making things that were visible yesterday seem less clear.  A good metaphor for how our inner life can seem at times.

Confusion is seen as a mistake, even a madness.

In truth, our potential for psychological growth reveals itself in moments of disruption.

The gift of confusion must be honored to clear a space in your life for something new to claim you.

Jerry Ruhl, Director,  Jung Center, Houston

photo of fog in the Wicklow mountains by sarah777

Being slow to label

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When we taste something, what is the ‘realness’ of it? We can say, ‘It tastes nice’ but this is what we think about it, not what the taste is. We can say, ‘It’s a grape’, but that’s a designation, a perception, isn’t it? What is the actual taste? We say, ‘It’s sweet’, but ‘sweet’ is a judgment, isn’t it? We come to understand that the reality of it is indefinable, and that for most of our life we are operating at the level of interpretations and classifications, of secondary experiences, rather than living the actuality of it. We never even know who we really are, because everything is constantly changing; the reference points are changing so although we feel we’re something, nothing quite fits. So as long as we identify with the world of change and appearance, this is all we shall ever feel ourselves to be, just an appearance that changes and wants to find a certain position.

Ajahn Sucitto, Gnosis and Non-Dualism

photo MatthiasKabel

Self-help, anxiety and the pressure to get better

I was in Dublin yesterday and took advantage by visiting the Hodges Figgis bookshop on Dawson Street, which I had not seen for a good number of months. I looked around the psychology  section and then sought out books on meditation, which I found spread across religion, and the ever-growing sections of “popular psychology”,  “Mind, Spirit and Body” and  “Self-Help”. One or two things struck me as I browsed. There is a real risk of making terms like “mindfulness” completely meaningless  as the state of mindfulness (which seems to increasingly simply mean an easy to develop calm  state or present-moment attention) is applied to all types of areas without a similar focus on the daily practice of mindfulness needed to slowly discover its benefits, or on the underlying vision of society and ethics which give it life.  A second problem is that it becomes part of an overall dissatisfaction with ourselves which is very prevalent today and leads us to find books which will help us create a  better version of ourself.  There are even more reasons now to be unhappy with myself – I am not only not rich enough, or not successful enough but I am also not mindful enough to get either.  The danger with this is that it sometimes only increases our dissatisfaction with who we actually are, and the sometimes, less exciting place, our lives are. Sometimes these versions of ourselves and the ideal how-we-would like-to-be can come from the way Western society places an emphasis on achievement and can take us away from the person we actually are.  We set up a juxtaposition between the “I” am now and the “I” I should be and believe that this is a good thing.  However, in many cases this type of  self-help and even spiritual practice can eventually increase our self of inadequacy. We have just shifted the method but we remain within the dynamic of winning and losing unless we begin to tackle the underlying cause and effect.  Instead of always moving on,  our practice can ask us at times to stay with what we have. It is there that we work out the unique person we are meant to be. It reminded me of Rabbi Zusya’s words,  a short while before his death : “In the world to come I shall not be asked, ‘Why where you not Moses?’ I shall be asked, ‘Why were you not Zusya?’