Are we using a language in our mind, which is tentative, soft and open or are we using a language which is harsh, strict and compulsive? We will feel differently if in our mind we are saying repeatedly, ‘I must, they must, it has to be, it cannot happen, they should, he never, she always’. The more we use this kind of language internally, the more we will feel tension and rigidity, especially if things do not go according to plan. If instead we were to use more tentative language like ‘I could, he possibly, it might, they sometimes’ we then would encounter reality and circumstances with a more open and creative attitude. We would be open to things going one way, but also happening in a different manner as well. Experience the difference you feel if you think ‘I must go to see this concert’ to ‘I could go to this concert’. With the first version you will fight and strain so that it must happen at all costs. With the second one you are open to it and will rejoice if it happens but if it does not, it will be fine. We can be so stressed by minor things but if we could bring less grasping to our thinking process, we would better evaluate what is essential and not so essential.
Martine Bachelor
If your mind becomes firm like a rock and no longer shakes,
We believe that it is difficult to let go, but in truth, it is much more difficult and painful to hold and protect. Reflect upon anything in your life that you grasp hold of – an opinion, an historical resentment, an ambition, or an unfulfilled fantasy. Sense the tightness, fear, and defensiveness that surrounds the grasping. It is a painful, anxious experience of unhappiness. We do not let go in order to make ourselves impoverished or bereft. We let go in order to discover happiness and peace.
As a young doctor, I thought that serving life was a thing of drama and action and split-second judgment calls….larger than ordinary life,and those who served were larger than life also. But I know now that this is only the least part of the nature of service. That service is small and quiet and everywhere. That far more often we serve by who we are and not what we know. And everyone serves whether they know it or not. We bless the life around us far more than we realize. Many simple, ordinary things that we do can affect those around us in profound ways: the unexpected phone call, the brief touch, the willingness to listen generously, the warm smile or wink of recognition. All it may take to restore someone’s trust in life may be returning a lost earring or a dropped glove.
