Mindfulness ….. requires that you become aware of the constant stream
of judging and reacting to inner and outer experience and learn to step back from it.
When we begin practicing paying attention to the activity of our own mind
it is common to discover that we are constantly generating judgments about our experience.
Jon Kabat Zinn
The practice of “letting go” is very effective for minds obsessed by compulsive thinking. You simplify your meditation practice down to just two words – letting go – rather than try to develop this practice and then develop that, and achieve this and go into that…. I did nothing but this for about two years – every time I tried to understand or figure things out, I’d say “let go, let go” until the desire would fade out. So I am making it very simple for you, to save you from getting caught in suffering.
Ajahn Sumedho
Just as a snake sheds its skin, so we should shed our past, over and over again
The Buddha
There is a lot of wisdom in this quote. From the moment we are conceived we are continually changing. However, this can produce anxiety, and we have a natural tendency to try and reduce this, by stabilizing our life and looking for as much certainty as possible. We like to have identifiable projects and clear plans, a coherent narrative, a life story that seems to make sense, at least to ourselves. So we create our own personal myth that will give us a unity and purpose in the world. And one of the difficulties of sitting in meditation just with present moment awareness is that we often prefer to go back to our story, replaying it again and again, believing it to be our life.
However, there may be alternative ways of working with life. Our story is frequently selective, it emphasizes certain themes and ignores others. The mind has a negativity bias, and it often prefers to hold onto things that have gone wrong and which have been stored in our unconscious as worry and anxiety. Thus, it may be best to let those things go. Also when we have been hurt and let down it is good to discover the freedom that comes from letting go. Practice draws attention to the fact that all things arise and pass away: all things are impermanent. The past is not really happening any more, except in our minds. Our life is continually changing and it may be better to see our selves as a succession of selves and just rest in how we are, in this moment. We can drop the story, the continual commentary on how we are doing, the wondering how we measure up in terms of this myth we – or others – have crafted for us. It is good to move on.
This can save us from the tendency we have to compare. We compare ourselves with versions of ourselves at other times – how we “should” be now – or compare by noticing the loss of what we no longer have, such as youth, activities, friends, relationships. We also instinctively compare our stories to others or the dominant stories in society, which tell us what “success” or “happiness” should be. This can lead us to overlook the fact that happiness in life comes not from holding onto the past but by living in the present with appreciation. If we see this we resist the tendency to make things permanent – this always has to be so – and free ourselves to delight in life as it presents itself each day.
Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.
Dalai Lama
There will be some posts over the next four weeks to accompany the Introductory Mindfulness Course which I am running with teenagers.
Breath is the bridge that connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold again.
In our community, where people are practicing the mindfulness of doing laundry, washing dishes, eating, walking and so forth, everybody learns to use breath as a tool for restoring mindfulness.
Thich Nhat Hahn
All we need to do is awaken to the here-and-now
– to stop jabbering to ourselves –
and be present in this moment.
Steve Hagen
At any moment we can say that we are on our way somewhere. We are between what has happened ( which is now a memory, but may be quite active in our emotions and fears) and what could happen (which is at this moment just a thought). We are in the present, which is really the only time there is. This may lead us to feel unfulfilled. However, when we look at in creatively, it can help us respond to life in new ways.
For example, it can change our attitude towards the future. If we are anchored in the present, we do not lean into the future. We can break it down into steps, thus ensuring that it does not overwhelm and frighten us. We do not have to live the whole of the future. Just this moment. Then the next moment. It can also change our attitude towards ourself. If we can bring a gentle non-judgment to ourselves and to our life, we can soften in the moment, and resist the natural tendency to become rigid, especially if we are going through a difficult period. This helps us go against a primitive defense mechanism, which Melanie Klein referred to when she said that one way of dealing with anxious thoughts is simply to avoid them and remove them from awareness, thereby prolonging the problem. Thus. awareness of the present help us work with the past also, by allowing us see repeating unhelpful patterns of thinking, and their accompanying instinctive feelings. It allows us move beyond the categories of right or wrong, by focusing on just being with what is going on inside ourselves at this moment. Gently. Without adding the extra burden of bad self or bad other.
This is not so easy, because if we notice strong emotion in the moment it normally means that we are already caught or hooked by it. However, contrary to our normal instinct, it is by learning to become more open to others and to what is happening that we grow stronger. It has been said that the whole of the inner life begins with generosity in the heart, because that is about creating space. Space for this actual moment. It softens us rather than freezing us into what Srikumar Rao calls the “if – then” model. “If only this moment was different then I would be happy….If only such or such happens then I will be happy”
Being present in the present moment is a skill, that we try to cultivate in our practice. I find that life continually gives me occasions for practicing this skill and a lot of time I fail. However, when I do, I find I do not add to life’s difficulty by struggling with it, or by resenting it, or by resisting it. I find my mind relaxes when I remember to be generous and non-judgmental, firstly towards myself and then towards others and the world.
In-between is where humans always are,
thats what we have to welcome,
a story with an uncertain ending.
And this condition is interesting if you inhabit it;
it’s alive.
If I’m facing something that I don’t know what to do,
the “not knowing” is what is true,
and the resources that I have,
deeply ignorant that I am,
will have to be enough.
John Tarrant
Mindfulbalance 