All we need to do is awaken to the here-and-now
– to stop jabbering to ourselves –
and be present in this moment.
Steve Hagen
Tag: Present moment
Life is a story with an uncertain ending
At any moment we can say that we are on our way somewhere. We are between what has happened ( which is now a memory, but may be quite active in our emotions and fears) and what could happen (which is at this moment just a thought). We are in the present, which is really the only time there is. This may lead us to feel unfulfilled. However, when we look at in creatively, it can help us respond to life in new ways.
For example, it can change our attitude towards the future. If we are anchored in the present, we do not lean into the future. We can break it down into steps, thus ensuring that it does not overwhelm and frighten us. We do not have to live the whole of the future. Just this moment. Then the next moment. It can also change our attitude towards ourself. If we can bring a gentle non-judgment to ourselves and to our life, we can soften in the moment, and resist the natural tendency to become rigid, especially if we are going through a difficult period. This helps us go against a primitive defense mechanism, which Melanie Klein referred to when she said that one way of dealing with anxious thoughts is simply to avoid them and remove them from awareness, thereby prolonging the problem. Thus. awareness of the present help us work with the past also, by allowing us see repeating unhelpful patterns of thinking, and their accompanying instinctive feelings. It allows us move beyond the categories of right or wrong, by focusing on just being with what is going on inside ourselves at this moment. Gently. Without adding the extra burden of bad self or bad other.
This is not so easy, because if we notice strong emotion in the moment it normally means that we are already caught or hooked by it. However, contrary to our normal instinct, it is by learning to become more open to others and to what is happening that we grow stronger. It has been said that the whole of the inner life begins with generosity in the heart, because that is about creating space. Space for this actual moment. It softens us rather than freezing us into what Srikumar Rao calls the “if – then” model. “If only this moment was different then I would be happy….If only such or such happens then I will be happy”
Being present in the present moment is a skill, that we try to cultivate in our practice. I find that life continually gives me occasions for practicing this skill and a lot of time I fail. However, when I do, I find I do not add to life’s difficulty by struggling with it, or by resenting it, or by resisting it. I find my mind relaxes when I remember to be generous and non-judgmental, firstly towards myself and then towards others and the world.
In-between is where humans always are,
thats what we have to welcome,
a story with an uncertain ending.
And this condition is interesting if you inhabit it;
it’s alive.
If I’m facing something that I don’t know what to do,
the “not knowing” is what is true,
and the resources that I have,
deeply ignorant that I am,
will have to be enough.
John Tarrant
Reflections
Remembered this poem on Saturday night when we had a clear night and a very bright “Supermoon”, and even an epic victory over the English in rugby is part of the 10,000 things.
Sitting alone in peace before these cliffs
the full moon is heaven’s beacon
the ten thousand things are all reflections
the moon originally has no light
Han Shan
Reduce the pressure of deadlines
Take a few minutes each day to step out of conventional clock time. Taking this break may lead to a breakthrough, since many of our best ideas arise when we let our minds relax and wander. By relaxing our focus, we can be open to creative impulses, surprising questions, and, at times, robust answers. Each day, for the next seven days, spend ten minutes on not focusing. Just let your mind wander; get up, move to a different space. Be aware of your breath, your body, your walking; notice your surroundings as though seeing things through fresh eyes. Bring a heightened sense of awareness to sensations of sight, sound, smell, and touch.
Marc Lesser
How to work with thoughts and emotions in meditation
Whatever thoughts and emotions arise in meditation, allow them to rise and settle, like the waves in the ocean. Whatever you find yourself thinking, let that thought rise and settle, without any constraint. Don’t grasp at it, feed it or indulge it, don’t cling to it, don’t try to solidify it. Neither follow thoughts nor invite them; be like the ocean looking down at its own waves, or the sky gazing down on the clouds that pass across it.
You will soon find that thoughts are like the wind; they come and go. The secret is not to “think” about the thoughts but to allow them to flow through your mind, while keeping your mind free of afterthoughts.
Sogyal Rinpoche
Try a different approach: Don’t move on
The core issue is that we are not comfortable with life as it is – changing, with indistinct boundaries, not meeting our unrealistic expectation. As children most of us learn, from parents, relatives, peers, and caregivers, to want something else, such as external approval, the security of things that don’t change, only pleasurable experiences, or the self-satisfaction of always being in the right.
We are like the drug addict looking for an unending high. We don’t find it with one drug, so we try another drug, then another and another. The variations are wonderfully creative and endless. Looking for the perfect partner, job, community, or profession, can be the drug. Looking for the perfect spiritual teacher can also be the drug. We might hop from one to another, exuberant for a while, and then disappointed. We move on.
When we walk the path of mindfulness, we are encouraged to try a radically different approach. We calm our minds, we focus on the present moment, and we embrace what we find.
Pema Chodron
