The source of forgiveness lies in the realization that we are not solely products of what was done to us, the realization that there is something essential within us that is not necessarily tarnished by calamitous experience…. There is a [… ] capacity for joy or love that is not dependent on external circumstances, not compromised by trauma or mistreatment, and capable of surviving destruction.
Mark Epstein
A similar idea to yesterday afternoon’s pos
t on how to work with emotions and not give them too much solidity or identify with them. Sometimes the best attitude we can have is one of patience, being able to sit with whatever arises knowing that it will pass and a new day, a new understanding will come:
Someone sits wakeful through the dark night, thinking of some way to find the day.
Though they do not know how to get there, still, in waiting for daylight, the day approaches.
Rumi
The snow of the weekend starts to melt as rain moves in and the temperatures rise from yesterday. With some grumbling we accept these ups and downs in weather as natural occurrences, and not having much choice allow them pass through. A useful skill to learn for working with our inner lives:
It is essential to understand that an emotion is merely something that arises, remains and then goes away. A storm comes, it stays a while, and then it moves away. At the critical moment remember you are much more than your emotions. This is a simple thing that everyone knows, but you may need to be reminded of it: you are more than your emotions.
Thich Nhat Hahn, Healing Pain and Dressing Wounds
The thoughts we have are all just random and yet we take them as me and mine. And either we are fascinated by them and we create a whole story, or we get fed up with them and want to get rid of them. So we’re always in a struggle. But it’s the reaching out with “me” and “mine” which creates the basis for the sticky quality of experience. If it is just seen as another ephemeral mind moment, as a thought arising and passing away, the mind is left unshaken and clear. It doesn’t have that sense of “me” and “mine.” One is not taking it as “me” and “mine”, making that identification. This brings one to a place of letting go, of relinquishment. This is where our place of peace is and the place where our practice must return to.
Ajahn Passano, A Dhamma Compass
We have the impression that the busier we are, the faster we should go and so we rush about. But if we look closely at “speeding to achieve more,” often we achieve less and sometimes things fall by the wayside or apart. We are limited by our physical, mental and emotional energy and there can be space and time constraints. Do we think that we are above these limits and constraints and can run around, accumulating projects and activities regardless? Or do we recognize and appreciate these limits and constraints and instead of fighting or hoping to transcend them, creatively engage with them? The basis for this creative engagement could be this phrase “the busier I am, the slower I should go.”
We can use this phrase in different ways. It could help us look at how we organize ourselves. Do we take on too much? Are we realistic about how much we can accomplish? How do we work? What are our assumptions? But even more so how do we feel or think? Do we need to feel busy to feel alive and worthy? Are we grasping at the feelings of rushing about and excitement? What would it mean to go slower? Would it be so bad? It might help us to prioritize better. What is important or essential now? What is urgent and non-urgent? When we are busy and excited everything seems urgent and essential but we can multi-task only so much before we collapse.
Martine Batchelor, The Busier you are, the Slower you should go
Every moment’s experience of an object will come with a feeling tone, whether or not this feeling is accessed by conscious awareness. In response to a feeling of pleasure or pain, an emotional response or attitude of liking or not liking the object may also arise. Most of us conflate these two experiences much of the time, concluding that a particular object is liked or disliked. However, in fact the object is merely experienced, and the liking or disliking of it is something added by our psychological response to it. This difference is a subtle but important nuance… It is the difference between “I am an unworthy person” and “I am a person who is feeling unworthy just now.”
Andrew Olendzki, Unlimiting Mind
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