Softness means opening to whatever is there, relaxing into it. At such times try this “mantra”: “It’s Ok. Whatever it is it’s Ok, Let me feel it”. This is the softening of the mind. You can open to your experience with a sense of allowing, and simply be with whatever predominates, a pain, a thought, an emotion, anything.

Softening the mind involves two steps. First, become mindfully aware of whatever is most predominant. That is the core guideline for all insight meditation. So the first step is just to see, to open. For the second step, notice how you are relating to whatever arises….The easiest way to relax is to stop trying to make things different. Rather than try to create another space, simply allow space for whatever is going on.

Joseph Goldstein, Insight Meditation