Softness means opening to what is there, relaxing into it. At such a time try this mantra: “It’s ok. Whatever it is, it’s ok. Let me feel it” . That is the softening of the mind. You can open to your experience with a sense of allowing, and simply be with whatever predominates: a pain, a thought, an emotion, anything.
Softening the mind involves two steps. Firstly, become mindfully aware of whatever is most predominant. That is the core guideline for all insight meditation: so the first step is just to see, to open. For the second step, notice how you are relating to whatever arises. Often we can be with an arising appearance but in a reactive way. If we like it we tend to hold on to it, we become attached. If we do not like it because it is painful in any way, we tend to contract, to push away out of fear, irritation or annoyance. The easiest way to relax is to stop trying to make things different. Rather than try to create another space, simply allow space for whatever is going on.
Joseph Goldstein, Insight Meditation
Mindfulbalance 
I’m trying so hard to ignore the way I feel, to hide it, to transform it, so reading this has made me cry. I wish I could feel it, allow it
The idea of softening the mind came to me through this week as something great I could do if I awake in middle of night with a busy mind. The tightness of my consciousness no matter how released physically is very hard to define. I sat there lastnight trying to just relax, expand the brick room of my mind. The day before I had wondered if visualising my mind have roof vents, which then extended to rooftop balconies, the to open air theatres and then the open mountains, but visualisations as this were short lived since these visualisations were floating and releasing me above my tight mind but not really softening it. I wanted a conscious awareness of my mind softening and focusing on it made my tight walled up mind burrow deeper away from my ease of meditation into a peaceful world. And I felt a need to approach my mind softly but it kept running away diverting into a million corners of thoughts subtly. When I just gave in to meditating and letting go I fell asleep. I’ve the week I have been waking and throughout the day working on an awareness of softening my mind and it’s something I’m working on. I will try your accepting the space of thoughts that come in like a type of monitor watching a drama or theatre play out. I’ll reread your suggestion and hope my mind can soften so that my relationship to my self feels more at one and able to let go as one more wholly..