The painful thing is that when we buy into disapproval, we are practicing disapproval. When we buy into harshness, we are practicing harshness. The more we do it, the stronger these qualities become. How sad it is that we become so expert at causing harm to ourselves and others. The trick then is to practice gentleness and letting go. We can learn to meet whatever arises with curiosity and not make it such a big deal.
Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart:Heart Advice for Difficult Times
Mindfulbalance 
Excellent insight.
Rick Hanson explains in Buddha’s Brain properties of the mind including this quote that sticks with me. “What fires together wire together”, means where we place our attention grows, where we withdrawal our attention withers.
mindfulness is just being here totally to view beneath the obvious. it sees beneath behavior of others without judgment, acknowledging as things exist. Mindfulness gives us the space to intuitively see fear the cause of others acting out. Why judge this and attach to it.
Fear is an emotion, a mind function that is a stranger to us. We fear our own fear. Fear is only a mini clue piece of a vast expansive mind. It is a grain of sand on the beach. Try experiencing fear without grabbing and thinking.
Does fear harm us?
Scenario: a large angry bear appears in front of me in the deep woods. My fight or flight mechanism fires and real fear is inside my safe zone. I am deadly afraid. Now the bear suddenly, turns and walks away.
now is fear permanent? Am I harmed? Not physically for sure.
mentally am I harmed?
Today I have enjoyed being with some words from Jon Kabat Zinn in ‘Full Catastrophe Living’ along the lines of ‘as long as you are breathing there is more alright with you then wrong’ – a good beginning place! I am exploring this in my new blog on mindfulness practice: https://seedmind.wordpress.com/