Regret is an emotion, and it is also a punishment that we administer to ourselves. The emotional state has been well described by two Dutch psychologists, who noted that regret is ‘accompanied by feelings that one should have known better, by a sinking feeling, by thoughts about the mistake one has made and the opportunities lost, by a tendency to kick oneself and to correct one’s mistake, and by wanting to undo the event and to get a second chance’. Intense regret is what you experience when you can most easily imagine yourself doing something other than what you did. Regret is one of the counterfactual emotions that are triggered by the availability of alternatives to reality.
Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow
photo karunakar raykar, two roads in the Himalayas
Mindfulbalance 
This is a rich and thought provoking post. I’ve watched regret cripple my best friend’s life and bring it to almost a complete stop. And, by no means do I pretend to be perfect. Just this past week I told another friend I’d like to have a ‘do-over’ on a medical decision I made. But, now I must accept the result and move on. Sometimes it’s easier to say than do. Thanks again for your post.
Alternatives to reality? There are none…only our imagings. 🙂 Regret the pull back into the unchangeable past…..anxiety the pull forwards into the unchangeable future. Thanks for the reminder.
I do believe in this post, regret is a very wasteful emotion, and it can wreck yourself if you focus on the “shoulda-woulda-coulda’s.” One emotion I’m conflicted on when it comes to my mindfulness practice is jealousy. At times I feel jealousy is a very useless emotion, but other times I find it very motivating. Does anyone have thoughts or input on this?
JOSH:)
I too have to stop and pause at this post tonight… I am reminded of Frost’s poem, “the Road less traveled” where he writes, I took the road less traveled, and that has made all the difference. Regret is an emotion I have been grappling with for many months now, and it is an elusive one to truly understand…. well worth the time spent looking at it and trying to understand its deep message for us humans.