I have not posted thoughts from Pema Chodron for a while, but was reminded by a close friend as to how inspiring her words can be. She is perhaps the most quoted person on this blog, so here is another idea from her:
Some of us can accept others right where they are a lot more easily than we can accept ourselves. We feel that compassion is reserved for someone else, and it never occurs to us to feel it for ourselves. My experience is, that by practicing without “shoulds”, we gradually discover our wakefulness and our confidence. Gradually, without any agenda except to be honest and kind, we assume responsibility for being here in this unpredictable world, in this unique moment, in this precious human body.
Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart
photo SuSanA secretariat
Mindfulbalance 
I love Pema!
One simple practice I have found immensely helpful is to learn to be aware whenever I find myself thinking or saying “should” and repeating the same words, but this time replacing the “should” with “could”.
I share this in hopes it might be helpful to others. 🙂
thanks Ben. Funny how we all seem to generate quite a lot of “shoulds”…
I’m not sure we generate them though. I think we mostly inherit or adopt them. 🙂
A very good point. I think you are right. They tend to be inherited from other persons, or at least in response to another audience in our heads