If you have traveled on the spiritual path even a little way, you have probably come across some version of “love what is” — a reminder that you should accept your experience as it is.

However, this teaching easily becomes another injunction. The conditioned mind cannot accept unconditionally. It always has an agenda, even if it is well hidden. It secretly bargains and sends the message, “I will accept you [sotto voce] if you change or leave.” This approach is akin to welcoming guests at your front door while secretly hoping they will exit out the back — the sooner, the better! Guests —our unwanted thoughts, feelings, and sensations — will certainly feel this conditional invitation, even if it is unspoken. As a result, they will be much less willing to enter, relax, and reveal themselves. The result? What we resist, persists.

So when your new arrivals show up at your door, put away your timer and share some aromatic green tea and a raspberry scone with them. Settle in and let them tell their stories and share their feelings. They just want to be heard and understood. Once they feel genuinely received, they will be open to a new perspective.

John Prendergast, Guided Meditation: Accepting Your Experience Just As It Is on the Sounds True blog