We must be led to the edge of our own resources, or we will not know -or need – the Ultimate Resource. This pattern is so constant and so common that it is a virtual spiritual law. We must be ‘defeated by life’ in some way, because the ego is so resistant to this journey.

Pain teaches a most counterintuitive thing – that we must go down before we even know what up is. Suffering of some sort seems to be the only thing strong enough to destabilize our arrogance and our ignorance. I would define suffering very simply as ‘whenever you are not in control.’

All healthy religion shows you what to do with your pain. If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it. If we cannot find a way to make our wounds into sacred wounds, we invariably give up on life and humanity. Our pain will overcome us and take us down. The pattern is very clear

Richard Rohr, The Immortal Diamond: The Search for Our True Self.