Author: Karl Duffy

This is a Mindfulness Practice Blog written in Laois, Ireland, containing reflections on meditation practice, psychological growth, spirituality and wellness which hopefully may encourage and benefit others as they reflect on their lives and seek to develop a more balanced, mindful and conscious approach to it.

Sunday Quote: Acceptance

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The summit of happiness is reached

when a person is ready to be what he or she  is

Erasmus

Acknowledging the brokenness within

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We all tend to wear masks, the mask of superiority or of inferiority, the mask of worthiness or of victim. It is not easy to let our masks come off and to discover the little child inside us who yearns for love and for light, and who fears being hurt. Forgiveness, however, implies the removal of these masks, an acceptance of who we really are: that we have been hurt, and that we have hurt others. Forgiveness of ourselves, then, implies an acceptance of our true value. The loss of a false self-image, if it is an image of superiority, or the need to hide our brokenness can bring anguish and inner pain. We can only accept this pain if we discover our true self beneath all the masks and realize that if we are broken, we are also more beautiful than we ever dared to suspect. When we realize our brokenness, we do not have to fall into depression; when we see our true beauty, we do not have to become proud as peacocks. 

Jean Vanier

Liberating our emotions

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From a meditative perspective, various mind states including emotions, arise and pass away empty of any substantial nature. They come into being when certain conditions come together and disappear when the conditions change. None of them belong to anyone; they are not happening to anyone. In a very real sense each mind state is expressing itself: it is desire that desires, fear that fears, love that loves. Can you feel the difference between the experience of “I am angry” and the experience of “This is anger”. Through that distinction flows a whole world of freedom. As one Tibetan Buddhist text expresses it, mind states or emotions are like clouds in the sky, without roots, without home. Identifying with an emotion as being self is like trying to tether a cloud. Can we learn to liberate all emotions, letting them pass though the open sky of the heart and mind?

Joseph Goldstein, Insight Mediation

Accepting your experience

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An interesting reflection on how accepting the present moment is also a practice of accepting ourselves:

The journey from self-hatred to self self-love involves to learning to meet, greet and open to the being that you are. This begins with letting yourself have your experience. Genuine self-love is not possible as long as you are resisting, avoiding, judging , or trying to manipulate or control what you’re experiencing – “I shouldn’t be having this experience, It’s not good enough. I should be having a better experience than this one” – you’re not letting yourself be as you are. This aggravates the core wound of  “I am not acceptable as I am”.   And it sets you at odds with yourself, creating inner division and turmoil. The way to free yourself from shame and self-blame is through developing a more friendly relationship with your experience, no matter what experience you are having.

John Welwood, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships.

This moment is the most profound

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True honesty also means relating to each moment completely. When you are dishonest, you miss this moment because you are thinking of the next moment, or the last moment or next week’s moments. And therefore you are failing to relate to this moment, to the reality that is right in front of you. By not paying total attention to this moment, you are disrespecting this thought, this energy, taking this moment for granted. Now, when we ignore the present moment in this way, there are consequences… we create suffering. If we live this moment only fifty percent, the fifty percent we failed to live will surely cause us difficulties later. So when we say “be mindful” in this tradition, we are simply saying: this moment is more profound than anything else on earth.

Venerable Shyalpa Rinpoche, A Path of Honesty

The great challenge in life

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Many people don’t think they are loved, or held safe,

and so when suffering comes they see it as an affirmation of their worthlessness.

The great question of  the spiritual life is to learn to live our brokenness under the blessing and not the curse.

Henri Nouwen