Simply saying things clearly

One thing mindfulness practice encourages us to make space for what is going on in our life, notice it,  and express it clearly and concretely. It is a good practice in working with what is going on inside us, as well as what is going on between us and others. Simply naming can be a first step in dealing with difficult situations, as was shown in two UCLA studies which looked at the practice of labeling emotion states .

Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to record brain activity, researcher Matthew Lieberman Ph.D,  found that assigning names to negative emotions reduces the intensity of activity in the amygdala — the part of the brain that acts as an alarm system and sets off stress-related reactions. By simply putting a name on the distress, Lieberman says, you can wield more power over your amygdala’s activity. For example, when you attach the word ‘angry,’” he explains, “you see a decreased response in the amygdala”.

We are shown how to do this simple, gentle naming of experience  in this poem by American writer David Budbill:

Say rather:
Its a nice day.
Pass the mashed potatoes please
Look, there’s a chickadee.
Your voice makes me swoon.
Let’s plant the beans.
I miss my dead mother so much today
I want to touch your face.
Clean up the mess!
What’s better than a cool glass of water?
I feel so sad, all I want to do is cry.
What time is it?
I want to touch you everywhere.
Let’s go for a walk.
Will you have tea with me?
Let’s play some music.
I dont want to die.
Come visit again soon.

David Budhill, Don’t Speak in the Abstract

In front of us, now

The seed of mindfulness is in each one of us, but we usually forget to water it.

We think that happiness is only possible in the future – when we get a house, a car, a Ph.D. We struggle in our mind and body, and we don’t touch the peace and joy that are available right now – the blue sky, the green leaves, the eyes of our beloved.

Thich Nhat Hahn

Speed

Each meditation session is a journey of discovery to understand the basic truth of who we are. In the beginning the most important lesson of meditation is seeing the speed of the mind.

But the meditation tradition says that mind doesn’t have to be this way: it just hasn’t been worked with.

Sakyong Mipham

Learning to be in the moment

One of the best ways to learn to be mindful is to take the dog for a walk. Dogs are always in the moment. They can take the same walk for 10 years and still experience grass in an entirely new way each day. They’re not worried about the past (“Why didn’t my people give me some of that chicken they had for dinner?”) or the future (” I wonder if my people will give me any chicken when we get home?”). All they think about is what is right in front of them: the smell of the grass, the basset hound in the yard next door, the squirrel in the tree across the street.

Alice Domar & Alice Lesch Kelly: Be Happy without being Perfect: How to break free from the Perfection Domination

Allowing ourselves to be relaxed

Many of us don’t allow ourselves to be relaxed.

Why do we always try to run and run, even while having our breakfast, while having our lunch, while walking, while sitting? There’s something pushing and pulling us all the time. We make ourselves busy in the hopes of having happiness in the future. In the sutra “Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone,” the Buddha said clearly, “Don’t get caught in the past, because the past is gone. Don’t get upset about the future, because the future is not yet here. There is only one moment for you to be alive, and that is the present moment. Go back to the present moment and live this moment deeply, and you’ll be free.”

How do we liberate ourselves in order to really be in the here and the now? Meditation offers the practice of stopping. Let’s try not to run. We run because we’re too afraid.

Thich Nhat Hahn

Just do it

The biggest obstacle to establishing a meditation practice is the erroneous idea that meditation should calm and focus the mind.  Better to assume the attitude that meditation is what you do when you meditate.

There is no doing it right or wrong.

Norman Fischer