Category: Be fully present

Every moment is a fresh beginning.

T.S. Eliot, The Cocktail Party

Tomorrow is Saturday in week 6 of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Course and as always we have an All Day Silent Retreat. Despite its formidable title it always turns out a calm, enjoyable, restorative day.

These days we are under continual pressure to do better, to be fitter, to be thinner, to get more education, attend more courses. It is almost as if rest equates with laziness. We so surrounded by hyper-achievers who are constantly overscheduled that we are tempted to consider busyness not only normal but right. Rest for some is a sign of weakness, a lack of ambition. And we can fall into the same approach even in how we approach our inner life. Even attending a MBSR Course or doing meditation can become another way to “fix” ourselves or another, latest, “self-improvement” project.

However, one of the most neglected of all inner pursuits seems to be quiet and rest. One of the most needful things for our sense of meaning is simply rest. A quiet day allows us this, a day without goals, just more time to be with our experience, whatever arises – a day of kindness to ourselves.

One of the nicest explanations of mindfulness I find is in Thich Nhat Hahn’s description of washing the dishes. I remembered it as I had a lovely cup of coffee this morning. We can never be at peace if our mind is racing ahead of us thinking about what we must do next or fretting over what has just happened. Mindfulness helps us see the beauty in each moment. Sometimes, the fact that the event is already beautiful helps, like the cup of coffee this morning. But at other times the mind prefers to label certain activities boring or unpleasant. I find that this explanation helps me to attend fully to whatever I am doing:

“While washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes, which means that while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes. At first glance this might seem a little silly: why put so much stress on a simple thing? But that’s precisely the point. The fact that I am standing there and washing these bowls is a wondrous reality. I’m being completely myself, following my breath, conscious of my presence, and conscious of my thoughts and actions.

If, however, while we are washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as they were a nuisance, then we are not ‘washing the dishes to wash to wash the dishes.’ What’s more we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes….If we can’t wash the dishes, chances are we won’t be able to enjoy our tea either. While drinking the cup of tea, we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands. Thus we are sucked away into the future —and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life.

The grass is covered in frost this morning. The Summer plants and flowers have begun to wilt and die this past week. The leaves have begun to fall. We see a frosty morning and learn to accept things that we cannot control, like the weather. Viewing life in this manner is skilful, because we see the wisdom in the continual change around us.

However, it is not always easy to calmly observe the changes around us and within us and they can give rise to fear. Fear has dominated the ecomonic and work climate this past year and the challenge is to find a way not to be consumed and corrupted by it. Learning to work skilfully with fear is essental to finding freedom and happiness.

As we persevere in practice we can see more clearly all our fears, some of which we may not even have known were within us. This may make us feel that we are getting worse not better, and uncertain about our strength and direction.

What the frost and falling leaves tell us is that even though we can never be absolutely safe, some difficult things are just part of the cycle of growth. We try to sit with these fears in a mindful way and not try to deny or avoid what is true. We try to simply observe its immediate and obvious manifestation. We don’t immediatel analyze it, try to figure out what the layers are, or what lies at its root. Our job as mindfulness practitioners is to meet, directly and gently, what is in front of us. We also try not to exaggerate the negative and judgmental thoughts which can arise when we are afraid.

The fearful situation, like the frost, can soon pass. Seasons come and go.

“We cannot be in the present moment and run our story lines at the same time. Impermanence becomes vivid in the present moment; so do compassion and wonder and courage. And so does fear. In fact, anyone who stands on the edge of the unknown, fully in the present, without a reference point, experiences some fear. That’s when our understanding goes deeper, when we find that the present moment can be completely unnerving and completely tender at the same time”.

Pema Chodrun Comfortable with Uncertainty